


The Dizzy Heights of This Dreamed of World

by whispered_story



Series: The Dizzy Heights [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Arranged Marriage, Barebacking, Bonding, Community: spn_j2_bigbang, Fae & Fairies, Fae Jared, Fae Jensen, Fairy Tale Elements, Growing Up Human, M/M, Magic, Minor Violence, Self-Lubrication, Student Jared, minor Jared/Sandy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7147331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is left on the Padaleckis' doorstep as a baby with no clues as to who he is or where he's come from. As he grows up with a life full of love and support from his adoptive family, he never loses the dreams of some far off place with green hills and meadows, a sprawling forest and gurgling stream. It's a beautiful and peaceful there, and every night Jared has his dream landscape all to himself — until he starts hearing a voice calling for him.<br/>When a stranger on a motorcycle shows up on campus a few months later, Jared suddenly has a new reality to consider. Not only is he fae and betrothed to this man — who introduces himself as Jensen — Jared's also in mortal danger. Torn between wanting to keep living a normal life and figuring out who he really is, Jared reluctantly agrees to let Jensen prepare him for the danger up ahead and unearth his own fae powers. As time goes on, he starts to feel more and more drawn to Jensen and he comes to realize that they share a bond that reaches well beyond an arranged marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A huge, huge thank you my two wonderful betas [trendykitty](https://twitter.com/trendykittykat) and [non_tiembo_mala](http://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala/pseuds/non_tiembo_mala)! 
> 
> All the gorgeous art in this fic was done by the most wonderful [Dancing_Adrift](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift)! Here's a link to the [art masterpost](http://dancing-adrift.livejournal.com/7231.html) \- please go check it out and leave lots of love ♥
> 
> Title taken from Pink Floyd's "High Hopes".
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

~~

On July 31st, in the early hours of the morning, a willow basket is placed on the porch of the Padaleckis' home. Inside the basket lies an infant, only a couple of weeks old, wrapped up in a warm dark green blanket. There are small stitches on it — sigils for protection that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Padalecki will recognize for what they are. A note pinned to the basket simply states: _Please take good care of our baby boy._

Mrs. Padalecki is the one to find him. She doesn't quite feel awake as she pulls the door open, breathes in the fresh morning air. The coffee has yet to finish brewing in the kitchen, and the whole neighborhood is still quiet, peaceful. She steps out onto the porch and nearly stumbles over the basket.

"What—" she starts, falling quiet as she looks down.

The baby looks up at her, his wide eyes a myriad of colors, and doesn't make a sound. For a moment, Mrs. Padalecki could swear the basket is bathed in a soft shimmering light, almost as if the air around it is glowing, but then she blinks and it's gone.

"Gerry! Come here, quick!" she calls over her shoulder.

She looks around, but there's no one nearby. The street is empty, quiet. She bends down and picks the baby up, cradling him against her body, and in an instant she knows she'll make sure this boy — this poor, abandoned baby — will never want for anything.

~ ~

Jared Padalecki has a normal childhood.

He's loved and taken care of — he lives in a house, has two wonderful parents and two siblings, and for the first eight years of his life a dog. He does well in school, makes friends easily wherever he goes, and squabbles with his siblings as often as he plays with them. He likes books, loves sports, and plays video games. Like most boys do.

The only thing not _quite_ normal about Jared are his dreams. Or his dream, singular, because he has a similar one every single night. In it, Jared is running down lush green hills, across fields with beautiful flowers. There's a forest with trees that are taller than any Jared has ever seen in real life, and when the wind rustles through the leaves it almost sounds like music, like bells tinkling. There's a stream, the water gurgling peacefully as it flows over stones and sand. The air shimmers beautifully, like there's a touch of magic everywhere, and everything is basked in hazy, golden sunlight.

For a long time, Jared doesn't realize his dreams aren't quite normal. There's nothing about them that stands out, that could possibly alarm him — the place in Jared's dreams is peaceful and he loves being there. It's only when he realizes that other people have all kinds of different dreams — good and bad and most of them pretty damn weird — that he gets a little worried and asks his parents about it.

"What happens in those dreams, honey?" his mother asks him. Jared shrugs.

"Nothing. I play. Sometimes I pick flowers or wade through the stream," he tells her. His mother smiles and kisses the top of his head.

"Well, that doesn't sound like something we need to be worried about," she states.

A few of months later, she asks a friend of a friend who is a psychologist about it, just to be sure. Her friend asks Jared a few questions about his dreams, and she seems a little puzzled but tells them not to worry about it. Jared feels weird about having to share his dreams with a stranger, something telling him it isn't for her to know. He doesn't bring his dream up again after that and neither do his parents. Over time, he thinks they probably forgot all about it and Jared is happy to let it rest. 

Sometimes, he'll stop and think about his dreams, and they're weird, sure, but they're not bad. They're better than nightmares or those really confusing dreams his friends sometimes mention, where a teacher turns into an alien or the English exam is written out in Latin. Jared likes his hills and the meadow, the forest and gurgling stream. There's nothing bad that ever happens there, and he starts to think maybe he's just lucky.

~ ~

Jared is eighteen the first time his dreams change. He's walking through the meadow, the grass halfway up his calves and tickling his skin, when he feels it. It's like someone else is there with him, another presence that he cannot see. The feeling only lasts a few seconds and then Jared is alone again.

The next night, Jared feels it again, and again the night after that, and the night after that.

Over the next few months, the presence gets stronger. Most nights Jared is still alone, but about once or twice a week now he feels like there's another person in his dreams. The feeling never lasts long, like little glimpses of someone else, but over time it starts to linger. First a few seconds, then sometimes a minute or two.

And then, the summer between Jared's freshman and sophomore year of college, he hears a voice for the first time. "Where are you?" it asks. Jared is lounging in the grass at the bottom of one of the hills, letting the sun shine in his face. The voice is male. Deep, yet soft.

It startles Jared so much that he wakes up.

"What the—" he gasps, and switches his bedside lamp on. For a moment, he expects to find someone there with him but the bedroom is empty.

Jared tries to tell himself it was just a dream, that it doesn't really mean anything, but he has trouble going back to sleep that night.

The voice becomes a recurring part of his dreams after that as well. There are always questions whispered into the silence, _Where are you?_ and _How can I find you?_. It — _he_ — doesn't sound malicious and Jared doesn't feel threatened by him, but Jared never answers him anyway. There's something weird about the voice, something that gets right under Jared's skin.

~ ~

The summer ends and Jared returns to California for his second year of college and, for the first time, his very own apartment. He's sharing it with Chad, his roommate since their first semester — and his best friend, though Jared doesn't really have a clue how the hell that happened.

The apartment isn't huge and Jared wouldn't call it nice, but it's nice _enough_. Chad contributes a big flat screen TV and Jared shares his xbox, and they buy a comfy albeit ratty couch from a friend of a friend of a friend for the living room. Chad calls it the heart of their apartment. Jared can't argue with it because it's where they spend most of their time, eating food and playing video games.

In his own room, Jared puts a Texas flag on the wall above his bed and an IKEA shelf next to the door that he fills entirely with books. He places photos of his family and friends on his dresser — as far as decorations go, Jared thinks he's doing okay for a nineteen year old college kid who doesn't have money. He'd even say that everything is perfect, if it wasn't for the pesky little voice in his dreams that's growing more and more insistent. 

A small part of Jared had hoped that the voice wouldn't follow him to California, that something about being back in his childhood bedroom triggered the change, but he's not that lucky. So with that hope squashed, Jared decides to take matters into his own hands.

He gets a whole stack of books on dreams from the library and starts researching. He figures if anyone takes notice of his sudden new interest, he can always claim he's doing research for a class project.

At first Jared's a little worried about what he'll find, so he starts with the easier things: the hills, the forest, the stream, the meadow. The things that have been there forever and that he's never had to worry about. Jared quickly finds that dream interpretation is a lot of vague mumbo jumbo and doesn't really make sense — apparently, Jared is lost, at peace, secure, and on the wrong path all at once.

He keeps reading. There are plenty of different books and approaches, but it all amounts to a big pile of nothing.

"Well, great," Jared mutters after he finishes skimming the umpteenth book. He's sitting on his bed, books and notes spread out around him. After a moment's hesitation he grabs a different book, the one he found the least horrible, and looks up 'voices'. He finds something about his subconsciousness sending him a message and, feeling more than a little frustrated, he mutters, "Well then, screw my subconsciousness."

"What are you doing?" Chad asks, suddenly appearing by Jared's open door, a can of coke in his hand. He comes in and picks up one of the books, skims the title and snorts. "Do you believe in this crap?"

Jared sighs and drops his book. "Not really," he says, and something in his voice must alert Chad because he sits down and peers at Jared with concern.

"What's up, Jayman?"

"I've been having these dreams," Jared admits and shrugs.

"Like what? Getting hunted by miniature vampires that can float above the ground?"

"What?"

Chad shrugs. "It's this dream I sometimes have," he says. "The things are hilarious. Until, you know, they catch me and bite me in the calves."

Chad's explanation startles a laugh out of Jared and he shakes his head. "No, nothing like that," he says and thinks what the hell. There's probably nobody in his life who's crazier than Chad, so he's the last person who'll look at Jared weirdly for having strange dreams. "It's just...I've been having this dream. The same one every night since I was a kid."

"Seriously? Every night?" Chad asks.

"Yeah, kinda. It's the same place every night anyway. A meadow and a forest and stuff," Jared explains. "It's not all that remarkable, really. I don't really know how to explain it. There's nobody there and nothing really happens, but it's so beautiful."

"Sounds boring," Chad says and shrugs. "Maybe your dreams are trying to tell you that you need a little excitement in your life, man."

"No, it's...I like it there. I mean, yeah, nothing happens, but it's an amazing place. I can't really describe it," Jared says, thinking of the beautiful landscape, something about it so ethereal, so stunning.

"So, what's the problem then?"

Jared pulls his knees up, resting his chin on top of them. "For the past year, there's been someone there. It's like I can feel another person. And then, this summer, there suddenly was a voice that wants to know where I am," he says, looking down at his hands in case Chad is going to laugh at him or call him crazy.

Chad, though, makes a surprised noise. "Okay. Kinda creepy," he admits. "But, Jayman, unless something like humans with superpowers or crap like that exist, which they don't, I'm guessing it's just dreams. Doesn't exactly sound like you have something to worry about."

"God, yeah. You're right. I'm being absurd," Jared says with a groan and runs a hand over his face.

"Well, luckily you got me to keep your grounded," Chad boasts and Jared can't help but snort.

"Hey," Chad says after a short moment of silence, voice suddenly going softer, serious. "Have you considered that, maybe, this whole thing is about your parents? You know, your birth parents? 'Cause dreams are all about your subconsciousness and shit, right?"

Jared shifts, looking down at the bedspread and shrugs. Chad is one of the few people who know Jared is adopted — it's not something he hides, but as far as Jared is concerned his parents _are_ his real parents. He didn't grow up feeling like there was something missing, like his life lacked something, and his parents told him long ago that there was never any trace of who is birth parents might have been so he never seriously considered looking for them either. Sometimes he wonders about them, sure, but it's not something that keeps him up at night.

"I don't know. Maybe," he replies now. He still gets the feeling that there's something else about his dreams, something _more_ , but at least Chad's idea is more rational than any of the stuff Jared has been coming up with.

~ ~

There's a place where the stream bends and there's a small sandbank there, the sand white and powder soft, glittering faintly in the sunlight as if it's made out of crushed diamonds.

In his dreams, Jared is barefoot, toes buried in the sand. It's warm and so soft it reminds him of cotton. He moves his foot, draws a circle, the sand moving like liquid. Jared hasn't been to many beaches in his life, not even now that he lives only an hour drive away from one, but he's never seen or felt anything like this. "Man, I _wish_ California beaches were just like this," he whispers to himself, and tries to draw a star next.

"So is that where you are?"

Jared startles, his heart racing as he turns around. It's still beating fast when he wakes up in his bed.

"Just a dream," he mumbles. "Remember, Jared? Your subconsciousness and whatnot."

He runs a hand over his face and after a few moments of lying there, waiting for his heartbeat to slow down, he rolls out of bed and closes the window. Just in case.

~ ~

For three weeks, Jared is alone in his dreams. There is no presence, no voice, nothing.

~ ~

"I have to read, like, half a textbook for Singer's class next week," Matt groans. "It's like he wants us to have no social life."

"Oh come on. Party tonight and study tomorrow," Chad says, jostling Matt, who in turn bumps into Jared. Jared trips a little, the strap of his backpack sliding a few inches down his shoulder, and he hitches it back up.

"Partying with you means a hangover tomorrow. Matt won't get anything done if he goes out with you tonight," he points out. Chad glares at him.

"Traitor. Don't think you're getting out of this either, by the way."

"No way," Jared says. He's about to list all the reasons for why going out with Chad is very low on his list of things he want to do that evening, when he practically feels someone watching him. They are walking across campus and there are students everywhere, but when Jared turns his head he doesn't have to skim the crowd. His gaze settles right onto a guy sitting on a bench a good thirty feet away, like he's drawn right to him. And the guy is staring straight back at him.

A shiver runs down Jared's spine and it's not fear, exactly, but something that touches him deep down to the core and his breath hitches. He feels like he knows that guy, _recognizes_ him, except Jared knows he's never seen him before. He's the kind of guy you don't forget easily. Even though it's the middle of summer, he's wearing a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt, black jeans and what looks like heavy biker boots. He looks older, not like a student and yet not like staff either. There's something about him that's different, a little dangerous perhaps, yet comforting. The weirdest part, though, is that even though he's so far away, Jared sees a flash of green eyes. Well, not really _sees_ it, it's more like he knows, beyond a doubt, the exact color of this guy's eyes.

"Jared," Chad says loudly next to him, tugging at his arm. "What are you doing?"

Jared blinks, feels as though he's coming out of a daydream, and realizes he's stopped walking. Chad is frowning up at him, and Matt is waiting a few steps ahead of them, looking curious.

"Sorry. I… I zoned out," Jared says. He gives Chad a weak smile and starts walking again, but not before glancing at the bench one last time. It's empty.

~ ~

Jared doesn't really have to fake feeling ill to get out of going to the party that night. His stomach really is in knots, nerves making him restless and a little queasy. Not even the promise of Sandy being there — who Jared's been sort of thinking about asking out because she's cute and fun and has been hinting at the fact that she likes Jared ever since she broke up with her boyfriend that summer — is enough to sway him, much to Chad's disappointment.

He almost regrets it the moment the door falls shut though, the apartment feeling suddenly too empty without Chad around. Quiet. It makes Jared's skin crawl.

"Get a grip, Padalecki," he mutters, and resists the urge to lock himself in his bedroom. Instead, he orders a pizza — because pizza makes everything better — and puts on a movie, turning the volume up.

He feels a little better and he's almost forgotten about the incident that afternoon when there's a knock on his door twenty minutes later. For a second, Jared freezes. It could be the pizza delivery, he tells himself, even though he knows it's not. It's way too soon and something tells Jared he knows exactly who he'll find when he opens the door. _If_. He could pretend he didn't hear anything, hide in his room, or call the cops.

There's another knock.

Swallowing, Jared gets up and walks the short distance from the living room down the hallway to the door. Once there, he hesitates, just for a moment, then he pulls the door open.

It's him. The guy from this afternoon.

Up close, Jared can see his eyes really are green and he's older than Jared, though maybe not as old as he initially thought he was. He's in his mid twenties, if Jared had to guess. He looks kinda like the typical Californian guy, with a strong jaw and a couple of days worth of stubble, yet almost delicate features. Handsome, his mother would say, if it wasn't for the fact that his clothes wouldn't quite meet her approval. Like a model who was dressing up as a bad boy.

"Who are you?" Jared manages to ask.

The guy looks at him and then smiles a small smile. "Jensen," he says, his voice smooth and deep. It's a voice Jared has become all too familiar with.

"You're the guy from my dreams," he says and he can barely hear himself over the rush of blood in his head. It's insane to even think it, because it can't be true, and yet here the guy is and Jared knows. _Knows_ , because he's been agonizing over his voice for weeks, and he knows this guy's presence. He's felt it countless times over the past few months.

Jensen smiles a little wider, but it looks gentle. Kind. "Yeah, that's me. I've been looking for you for a while."

"Why? Who are you?" Jared asks, his hand clutching the edge of the door. "How'd you find me? How'd you even get in my dreams? What the hell is going _on_?"

His voice comes out higher than usual, louder. He's going crazy; he has to be, because it's the only explanation that makes sense.

"Jared. Calm down, please. I'll explain everything, don't worry, but maybe you should let me come inside," Jensen says. He still sounds calm and Jared feels the words wrap around him, feels a tranquility settle over him.

"Inside," Jared echoes. He shakes his head, because he's not that big of an idiot, letting a stranger into his apartment. He can't do that, shouldn't do that, even though every fiber of his being wants him to step aside and let Jensen in.

"This isn't the kind of thing you want to talk about out here," Jensen interjects before Jared voices any protest, his voice quiet. "Believe me. You don't want your neighbors to listen in on this conversation and it's probably not going to be quick either. I need to explain some things to you and I'm sure you'll have questions, too."

"Are you going to hurt me?" Jared asks. If his life was a horror movie, and right then he isn't sure it isn't, then this is exactly what would happen: creepy guy turns up on someone's doorstep, enters the house, and kills the unsuspecting victim. Jensen has stalked him in his dreams, and that in itself is absolutely insane, but it doesn't sound like the kind of story that's going to have a happy ending in store for Jared.

Jensen shakes his head. "Hurting you is the very last thing I'd ever want to do, Jared," he says, and for some reason, Jared can tell he's genuine. He steps aside, feeling shaky and confused, and closes the door once Jensen has stepped past him. Unsure of what to do next, Jared clears his throat.

"Living room is right through here," he says, motioning down the short hallway, and starts walking.

The movie is still on and Jared quickly goes to turn it off. When he turns around he finds Jensen standing by the couch, looking around the open kitchen and living room space with a curious, though unimpressed, look.

"So," Jared starts, and Jensen looks at him and gives him another smile.

"May I?" he asks, waving his hand at the couch. Jared nods, and Jensen sits down. "So, there's a lot I have to tell you. And it might sound a bit strange to you, but just try to keep an open mind please."

"Start with the dreams," Jared says, feeling a slightly panicked laugh threatening to escape him. "How is this even real? I mean, what, are you some kind of superhero? Spy with freaky powers? Do you even _know_ how freaking unreal this is?"

"It's normal where I come from, so no, not really, I suppose," Jensen admits. "I'm a fae, Jared."

"A what now?"

"Fae," Jensen repeats, and after a pause he adds, "And so are you."

Jared stares at Jensen for a moment, but Jensen doesn't backtrack, doesn't tell him he's kidding. Jared snorts. "This is a joke, right?" he asks. "You're telling me, I'm a what, a… a fairy? And you want me to believe that?"

Jensen sighs and leans forward, elbows on his thighs and hands clasped between his knees. He looks normal, Jared thinks, not at all like someone who is clearly completely crazy and maybe about to kill him.

"Fae, not fairy," Jensen corrects. "Fairies were made up by humans, and fae are very much real. We don't have a lot in common with the creatures you have in mind. Obviously, because neither of us is tiny or has sparkling wings."

His lips lift up into a quirked smile, his eyes shining in amusement, and Jared wants nothing more than to tell him this is the wrong time to make jokes. Because Jared is freaking out.

"This is ridiculous," he says. "I'm just a guy. And you're insane. Or _high_. Hell, did Chad pay you do come here and do this?"

"Who are you parents?" Jensen asks, ignoring Jared's accusations, and looks at him seriously.

The words stop Jared.

"My—"

"Your birth parents," Jensen interjects. "Not your adoptive ones."

"How'd you know about that?" Jared whispers. The only people he's told about this since he moved to California are Chad, Matt, and Sandy. More people know about it at home, but Texas is a far way from here.

"I told you, Jared. You're a fae. You were given away a few weeks after you were born, given to humans, and raised in this realm."

Jared runs a hand over his face and shakes his head. "No. That's _nuts_."

Jensen pulls back the sleeve of his jacket. There's nothing there but smooth, pale skin but then Jensen skims his fingers over the inside of his wrist and his skin starts to shimmer, to glow blue-white. A mark that looks like a flower, like petals twisted together and swirling around to form an intricate design, appears.

"What the..." Jared murmurs, gaping.

"I'm a _fae_ ," Jensen stresses. "We both are, Jared. Do you believe me now?"

"I don't have one of those things on me," Jared protests, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, fine, maybe you're...you're something. But I'm not. You have the wrong guy."

"I don't, believe me. And you do have a mark; it's not visible, but it's there."

Jared is starting to feel a little dizzy suddenly. All of this is insane, _sounds_ insane at the very least, and Jared should probably kick the guy out and forget the day ever happened.

Except, just a few weeks ago Jared was researching dreams, convinced there was something not quite right about his. Not quite _human_. And there are things about Jensen he can't explain, like the fact that he heard the guy's voice in his dreams and knew his eye color before he saw it. He goes to sit down, not sure he's going to be able to stand up for much longer, choosing the opposite end of the couch.

"So, say this is true. Hypothetically," he starts after a moment and can't believe he's saying this. "Why the hell did I get adopted by 'humans' in the first place and why are you here now? I just… I don't understand any of this. It doesn't make sense."

"Your parents thought it was for the best," Jensen says in a soft voice. Soothing. There's something about it that gets right to Jared, makes his racing heart slow down and the panic ebb away. There's something else there, a feeling Jared can't quite explain, something a lot less calm and quiet, something wild that Jensen makes him feel.

"They were trying to protect you," Jensen continues. "This realm seemed safer than ours; they thought they could hide you here better."

"Protect me from what?"

"Your parents were very powerful. In our realm it's common that people of their standing arrange marriages for their children to form alliances with other powerful fae," Jensen explains. "Your parents arranged a marriage for you before you were born and this alliance would have far surpassed any other at that time. It would have brought two of the most powerful families together, and I'm sure you can see how that might have displeased some other fae."

"Are you telling me that my _life_ was in danger?" Jared asks in disbelief.

Jensen nods. "Pretty much, yes. There were some fae who were determined to make sure the alliance would never be formed and they would have done anything to see to that. Even killing you. Your parents were tipped off, though, so they hid you away."

"They… why didn't they just call off the wedding plans?" Jared asks.

"It's not like a human betrothal, Jared," Jensen says, shaking his head. "There are spells performed, a bond that is forged. It can't be called off."

"Spells."

"Yes. Fae, remember?" Jensen says and gives him a small smile. "We possess magic."

"Right, magic," Jared swallows. It's too much to process, so he decides to focus on another thought that niggles at his brain. "You said were. My parents _were_ powerful."

Jensen turns a little more toward him, his body shifting gracefully, and gives him a sad look.

"They're dead," Jared guesses before Jensen can say anything, and Jensen nods.

"I'm really sorry, Jared," he says. "They passed away a few years ago. Your mother was sick for many years and your father grew considerably weaker after she died; he died in his sleep shortly after she did."

"And why are you here?" Jared spits out. "Why come here and fuck up my whole life by telling me my birth parents are dead and hey, I'm not even human?"

He gets up, feeling the sudden urge to throw or punch something, anything to get rid of the restlessness cursing through his veins; the anger he feels towards Jensen, at this whole situation. The calmness he felt just a few moments ago is gone as quickly as it came. He's still can't believe any of this is true, but if it is then this guy has some nerve, coming here and turning his life upside down.

"There were spells that were put on you and on your human parents' house, so you wouldn't be found. Spells that made you appear like any other human. But they're wearing off," Jensen says. "That's why I've been able to contact you in your dreams. The spells were designed to only last for so long, Jared… Your parents wanted you to grow up without being in danger, but they always wanted you to come home once you'd reached adulthood."

"And if I don't want to? If I just want to stay here and forget about this whole thing and just… be normal." Jared runs a hand over his face and laughs a little hysterically. "Please tell me I can still be normal."

Jensen sighs. "The spells can be redone. But they wouldn't be as strong. Kids are weaker, they're easier to hide and protect. You… you're strong, even for a fae. Everyone felt it the moment you were born," he says. "The spells wouldn't last more than a few years this time if I redid them. You're too powerful."

"So you're here, what, to take me back?" Jared chokes out, shaking his head.

"No. You're not ready for that, and there are still people out there that want to hurt you. I needed to find you before they did and prepare you. You need to be trained, Jared."

"Trained. Trained in what way?"

"Fighting, magic. That fae magic I mentioned? Yours was blocked so you'd be able to live among humans undetected. But as I just said, you won't be able to hide forever and I want you to be able to protect yourself."

"Why?" Jared asks and stares at Jensen. "You burst in here, tell me I'm some kind of mythical being and my parents are dead. Why should I trust you? Why would you care about me one way or another?"

Jensen looks at him and presses his lips together firmly, expression wavering. "Because I'm your betrothed." 

"Come again?" Jared asks, his heart in his throat.

"Our parents arranged for us to get married years ago. I was a kid and your mother was pregnant with you," Jensen says. "We're bonded. That's why I care. That's why I'm here."

"No," Jared says with a humorless laugh. "No. You're a _guy_."

"Jared. I know—" Jensen starts, but Jared keeps going before he can continue.

"They arranged a marriage for me with a _guy_? Are you serious?" he asks. "Why the hell would they do that? Wasn't there some girl that came from a powerful family that would have done?"

There's no way, he thinks. No way anyone can expect him to be with, to _marry_ , some guy. Or anyone really, but especially not a man, because Jared is definitely not into men. There's no way anyone could think that, could assume that about him — not even his magical freaking birth-parents. Jared's as straight as they come. And okay, there was that one time last year when he and Chad watched a gay porn movie but that was only because they hadn't realized it was two guys until clothes were already being taken off, and they'd kind of just gone with it.

"Porn is porn, right? Either way, someone is getting fucked," Chad had reasoned and Jared hadn't argued, but that didn't mean shit. The movie hadn't been half bad and maybe, _maybe_ Jared had been kinda intrigued by the whole two-guys-having-sex thing but only in a purely theoretical way. Jared can honestly say that not once has he thought sleeping with a guy himself, and some pretty fae with a nice smile and leather jacket isn't about to change that.

"No. Fucking. Way," Jared stresses, shaking his head.

"Same-sex relationships are completely normal among fae. Gender doesn't really matter to us. It's not like in the human world, Jared," Jensen tells him. "Love is love."

"What about my sexuality, huh?" Jared replies angrily. "You don't care about that; you just arrange for people to get married and that's that?"

"We don't have different preferences," Jensen says.

"Well, I do," Jared snaps. "And I'm straight, so whatever you're hoping for, forget it. It's not going to happen. I'm not going to run off with you and live happily ever after or whatever you thought might happen. Just… just leave, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Jared. We need to. This is important," Jensen stresses.

"Leave!" Jared exclaims. Jensen looks at him for a few short seconds, then sighs and gets up. "I'm sure you can find your way out."

Jensen presses his lips together. "I know this must be a lot for you to take in. And I'm sorry I came here and dumped all this information on you, but there are things you need to know. Things you're going to have to be prepared for," he says. "It's not something you can hide from forever, Jared."

Jared glares at him, staying silent, and after a moment, Jensen nods. "Bye, Jared. I'll see you around."

"Not if I have any say in it," Jared mutters. He doesn't watch Jensen leave and when he hears the door fall shut, he kicks the coffee table viciously. It slides to the side a little, but doesn't even topple over, and Jared's foot hurts like a bitch. Still, he kicks it again.

~ ~

Jared wonders if he's going insane or if someone slipped him something. Lying in his bed a few hours later, he feels like the whole thing must have been a figment of his imagination. It's too crazy, too out there to be possible.

Fae. Even the word sounds ridiculous.

He wants to laugh this whole thing off, forget it ever happened. The only problem is that Jensen is real. He could try to pretend that Jensen is just some lunatic that, for whatever reason, has latched onto him, but the weird, glowing mark on his arm was just as real as Jensen and definitely didn't look very human. And Jared's dreams, the dreams he's been having all his life, those are real too. There's even a tiny part of Jared that even feels relieved to finally have an explanation, but the bigger part just wants to go back to being clueless.

~ ~

"You look really tired," Sandy says, sitting across from Jared at the small café down the street from Jared's apartment. There are notes scattered between them on the table, hers and his, from the Chem class they're both taking. Sandy has a highlighter in her hand, a notebook lying open by her elbow.

She looks cute today. Her dark hair is swept back in a ponytail, her white top a nice contrast to her tan skin. She's one of those people whose beauty always looks effortless and Jared has always been attracted to girls like her. Pretty, sweet, bubbly.

"I didn't sleep very well last night," he admits, which sounds a lot better than telling her he didn't sleep at all because he was scared of what he would dream. Despite his lack of sleep, Jared doesn't feel as exhausted as he thinks he should. Maybe that's a fae thing, he thinks bitterly, and then quickly berates himself for going down that road. He doesn't want to think about last night, about Jensen, or about what he supposedly is. He just wants something normal.

"Let's go out tonight," he suggests, because it's the first normal thing he can think of. A date, with a _girl_ , and he likes Sandy and Sandy likes him.

Sandy gives him an amused smile. "I was out last night," she says.

"I don't mean go out and party. I meant dinner and maybe a movie," Jared says. "You know, a date."

"A date," Sandy repeats, her smile a little more radiant now. "Jared Padalecki, are you asking me out?"

"I am," Jared says and nods. "So what do you say?"

"Okay," Sandy agrees and laughs softly, looking down at the table between them. "So, I need to get some studying done because apparently I have plans for tonight. You better buckle down and help me get some things done."

"At your service, ma'am," Jared replies, giving her a small salute. He reaches for a set of notes and grabs a pen. "Let's start with last week's lecture. I had a question that I scribbled down here somewhere, give me sec."

He shuffles through his notes, trying to find the thing he wrote somewhere in the margins, and subtly glances up at Sandy. She's engrossed in her own notes now, too, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. She's beautiful and she's exactly what Jared wants, exactly what he needs right now.

~ ~

They have dinner at an Italian place Jared's never been to that Sandy says she likes. The food isn't too expensive, but it's still pretty good and the place is nice. There are a couple of families there, smaller groups of friends, and one or two other couples out on dates. It's the perfect atmosphere for a date, relaxed and cozy.

They share a plate of antipasti, followed by a pizza for Jared and ravioli for Sandy. The nice thing about dating a friend, Jared notices, is that they have a lot to talk about. There's no awkward first date conversation. Instead it feels like hanging out with Sandy always does: they talk about classes, about mutual friends, about TV shows they both watch and music they both listen to. It's easy, friendly, and best of all, it's a good distraction.

The movie they decide on after dinner is a lot less interesting. It's some romantic comedy that Sandy picked because there's nothing better playing, and the whole movie is cliché in the way where it feels like you've seen that exact movie about a dozen times before. Jared has his arm around Sandy and she's snuggled up against his side, which is nice though. She's close enough that Jared can smell her shampoo, sweet and familiar, and she fits into the curve of his body perfectly.

When Jared told Chad he was taking Sandy out on a date earlier that day, Chad had clapped him on the shoulder and congratulated him. "I knew this would happen," he said. "I don't know why you waited so long to ask her out. You should have done it weeks ago, man. You two are perfect together."

For a split moment, he'd thought about Jensen, had felt the need to find him and tell him. _Ha. See?_ he'd wanted to say. _There's a girl and she's perfect for me. And I'm perfect for her._

"I don't think you've laughed at even one of the jokes so far," Sandy whispers now, tipping her head up a little.

Jared shrugs, brought out of his thoughts, and glances at the screen where the two main characters are involved in a screaming match. "Movie's kinda boring," he whispers back.

Sandy nods. "Yeah," she agrees and turns her body into Jared's a little. "Can you maybe think of something that'd be more fun?"

In the dim light coming from the screen Jared can see her smile, her lips glossy. He hums and closes the small distance between them, bringing their lips together. He kisses her softly, slowly, and feels Sandy smile against his mouth. Her hand comes up, cupping his cheek, and her lips part under his. Her lip gloss is sticky and tastes fruity sweet, and when she presses a little closer he can feel the soft swell of her boobs against the side of his chest. This, too, he wishes he could make Jensen see.

~ ~

Jared is pretty sure it isn't entirely appropriate to ask Sandy back to his place after the first date, but it's what he wants to do as they leave the movie theater. So he does, but he tacks on a quick, "We don't have to, you know… we can just hang out a little."

Sandy looks up at him, and laughs softly. "Oh, I suppose I should play coy, tell you I'm not that kinda girl. But really, I'm a fan of people doing what they want to regardless of what society might tell us we should do," she says, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"That a yes?"

"I've kinda been into you for a while," Sandy says, grinning. "So that's a hell yes."

Jared laughs and tugs her in a little closer, even if it makes walking a little harder for them, her steps so much smaller than Jared's. She's definitely his kind of girl.

~ ~

Jensen appears in his dream that night, standing at the bottom of the hill. For the first time ever, Jared can actually see him, though he looks a little like an apparition, the air around him shimmering strangely. Jared wonders if them meeting has somehow given Jensen more power, if he will now be there every night and Jared will be unable to stop him.

"So you're just going to stalk me in my dreams now?" he spits out angrily and brushes past Jensen. 

"Well, you could block me," Jensen replies.

Jared stops. "How?" he asks.

"I can teach you. I'm not the only one who can get into your dreams, Jared. Our bond is helping me, but once the spells wear off others may be able to enter your dreams as well. To find you," Jensen tells him in a serious voice. "That's one of the reasons why you need proper training."

"You really think I'm in danger."

"Yes."

Jared hesitates, but the thought of other fae, ones who might want to hurt him, getting to him makes his stomach twist. He nods. "Fine. But just training. There's nothing more to it."

"If that's what you want," Jensen agrees.

"It is," Jared stresses. Jensen nods, and then he's suddenly gone. It's quiet again, except for a soft breeze blowing through the knee-high grass.

~ ~

Jared wakes up thinking about Jensen, and he freezes when he feels a body pressed against his back, naked skin against naked skin. But then the fog in his head clears a little and he remembers last night, and his date with Sandy. Relaxing, Jared yawns and stretches, and Sandy makes a soft noise.

Carefully, Jared turns around and finds Sandy looking at him through half-lidded eyes. Her long dark hair is spread out on the pillow and Jared runs his fingers through it. "Good morning," he murmurs.

Sandy's lips lift up in a smile. "Morning," she returns, voice thick with sleep. She shifts, scooting a little closer. Her boobs end up pressed against his chest and her thigh brushes against his cock. Jared ducks his head down and kisses her, ignoring the morning breath and slightly tacky taste in his mouth.

Sandy makes a pleased sound when their lips part with a soft snick and grins. "So. Does a stay at the Padalecki-Murray residence include free breakfast?" she asks.

"If you're my guest, yes," Jared says, and trails his fingers down Sandy's back. Her skin is smooth and warm and when he splays his hand between her shoulder blades it almost spans her whole back.

"I make a mean pot of coffee and I'm really great at toasting bread," he tells her. "Also, a pro cereal-pourer."

Sandy laughs. "If you tell me you've got some milk for the cereal, I'm sold."

"Oh definitely. Only the best for my guest," Jared says. Sandy gives him a fond smile, nose scrunched up a little, and Jared kisses her once more before rolling out of bed.

~ ~

When Sandy leaves, Jared finds a note sticking to the front door.

It says just, _Next Saturday, 2p.m._ with an address scrawled under it. Jared peels it off and stuffs it into the pocket of his jeans.

"Must be for Chad," he says when Sandy gives him a curious look.

~ ~

The week passes slowly. Classes seem like more of a drag than usual, even the ones Jared likes, and he feels restless. He tries not to think about the whole fae thing too much, but it's not easy to ignore and it makes him feel antsy.

He's a little surprised that he's not a lot more freaked out though. After all some guy just waltzed into his life, told Jared that he's not human, hey magic and stuff is real, and Jared was basically promised to him by his parents before he was even born. If anything entitles a person to a nervous break down or at least a panic attack or two, this would be it. Jared is feeling a little anxious and scared and confused, yes, but he's not freaking out and that actually worries him a little.

Maybe, deep down, he always knew there was something off about him and that's why he's having such an easy time accepting all of this. It's an oddly comforting thought and it makes Jared sleep a little easier at night. His dreams, when he does have them, are as peaceful and comforting as always and Jensen doesn't appear even once that week.

On Friday night, Jared goes with Sandy to see a college band play on campus. Some of their friends are there as well, so it's not really a date, but they sit side by side at the table that Sandy's roommate, Sophia, snagged and then Sandy comes back to his place afterward. It feels like they are heading right into a relationship, skipping the casual dating thing, and Jared is okay with that.


	2. Chapter 2

~ ~

Jared has to take three different buses to get to the address Jensen wrote down.

The house is tucked away at the end of a cul-de-sac in what Jared finds to be a very nice area. He's not sure what he expected — an abandoned warehouse, or some cheap apartment, but instead it's looks to be a fairly sizeable property hidden by tall hedges and trees. There's an iron gate, but it squeaks open before Jared can even look for the doorbell.

He walks up the winding driveway to a beautiful old stone house. It's not huge like many of the other houses Jared has passed, but it's certainly not small either. With gray stones and vines crawling up the walls it looks like something out of a fairy tale.

"Of fucking course," Jared mutters. He wonders how Jensen found a place like this so quickly.

There's a car parked out front, a big truck that has seen better days, and a gleaming black motorcycle. Jared's never really been one for motorcycles, or cars, but even he has to admit that it looks gorgeous and powerful. It suits Jensen and Jared hates himself a little for the thought.

The front door opens then, Jensen standing in the doorway. "Hey, Jared. Come on in," he greets and waves him inside. The leather jacket and boots are gone, so Jensen looks more model than bad boy today, wearing washed out black jeans and a gray t-shirt, no socks or shoes. There's a bracelet wrapped around his left wrist, strings of dark leather twisting around skin and something, a charm Jared guesses, glints in the sunlight as Jensen steps back.

"Hey," Jared replies and tries not to look interested as he glances around. The inside of the house seems as nice as the outside, warm and inviting despite the dark wood everywhere.

"Come on, let's go into the living room," Jensen suggests, and Jared nods at his shoes.

"Want me to take these off?"

Jensen shakes his head. "It's fine," he says and turns. "There's someone I want you to meet."

"What?" Jared asks, following him.

Jensen looks back at him and gives him a reassuring smile. "A friend," he says.

He leads Jared into the living room, a large room with big windows that lead out onto a patio overlooking a huge, somewhat wild-looking garden. There isn't much in the room — a piano is in one corner of the room, several large leather couches, the largest of them facing a fireplace, its mantle lined with several pots of ivy. Absently, Jared notes that there's no TV or stereo system, but his attention is quickly drawn to the man sitting in a recliner nearby.

He gets up when Jared and Jensen approach, smiling warmly. He's older than Jensen, with salt and pepper hair and a beard, some lines around his eyes as he smiles. "Jared. I'm Jeff," he says, holding out his hand. There's something about him that feels different, and Jared knows he's not human, but fae. It's not like it was with Jensen, though: that pull, the way his eyes had been drawn right to him and everything else had kind of faded, isn't there.

Jared shakes his hand politely.

"It's good to meet you," Jeff continues. "Well, actually we met once before but you were only a few days old back then, so I don't think that really counts, does it?"

He winks at Jared, and there's something about him that instantly makes Jared feel at ease. Jeff feels comforting whereas Jensen got under his skin the second he laid eyes on him, drew Jared to him in a way he wasn't comfortable with.

"Good to meet you, too," Jared replies politely.

"I asked Jeff here because I want him to train you," Jensen explains and motions for Jared to sit down. "Jeff is one of the best fighters I know. He used to teach me when I was younger, but he's been living in the human realm for close to ten years now and has been studying martial arts."

"Martial arts," Jared repeats, frowning as he sits down. "Wait, so you want me to learn how to _physically_ fight? I thought you were going to teach me, you know, magic. Fae stuff."

"I told you your powers were blocked when your parents gave you away. I know how to unblock them, but it's going to take me a while. Actually learning how to fight will be good for you, too. We have magic, but a lot of it is different than what you might think," Jensen says. "If you have to defend yourself against another fae you have to know how to fight. When fae fight it's not much different from humans; we don't just stand there throwing spells around."

"Jensen is right, Jared," Jeff chimes in. "On top of it, it'll be easier to teach you some martial arts than it will be to teach you magic. Have you ever taken any type of self-defense classes? Or perhaps done anything like wrestling or boxing?"

Jared shakes his head.

"Well, we'll start from scratch then. That's fine."

"When do you want to start?" Jared asks, and Jeff and Jensen look at each other.

"There's no time like the present," Jeff says, smiling. "We can head outside and I'll show you a few basic moves. You okay to do it in the things you're wearing now or do you want Jensen to get you something more comfortable?"

"What's better?" Jared asks.

"Well, gym shorts might be easier to move in, but your opponent won't exactly let you go change either."

"I'll stay like this then," Jared says, and it earns him an approving nod from Jeff. He feels a little nervous, not sure what to expect.

They head out to the middle of the backyard, where the grass is growing high and wild, reminding Jared of the meadows he dreams of. There are wildflowers everywhere, pale violet and yellow and pink. If anything, the backyard is even more fairytale-esque than the house. On one side, there's an old stone wall, crumbling down in places, pots of love-lies-bleeding balanced along the top with the flowers hanging down, and the ground in front of it is covered in small rocks and creeper plants Jared doesn't recognize crawling along them. There are bellflowers and weeping willows, a thick cluster of birch trees at the back of the property, and near the patio sits the most beautiful rose garden Jared has ever seen. He takes his time looking around, taking it in, until Jeff finds a spot for them that he deems perfect.

Jeff turns out to be a pretty good teacher. He makes Jared practice how to fall properly, before he starts teaching Jared how to block punches and some very basic counter-attacks. He takes it slow, going through each move again and again in slow motion, until Jared feels comfortable with it.

Jensen watches them from the patio for a while, and Jared can't help the need he feels to show him what he's capable of, to impress him. He tries hard not to think about why that is, and he's glad when Jensen goes inside after a while.

They train for a good portion of the afternoon, taking regular breaks to drink some water. Jeff puts Jared through the ringer — as patient and nice as he is, he doesn't let any mistakes slide, no matter how tiny they are, and he makes Jared go over some moves again and again. By the time Jeff wraps things for the day, Jared is sweaty and breathless and he's pretty sure he'll find some bruises on his body later. He feels good though, exhilarated.

Jensen comes back out and hands Jared a fresh bottle of water and looks at Jeff expectantly, an eyebrow arched. "What do you think?"

"Jared's in good shape and a pretty fast learner. We'll need to work on his focus, improve his coordination a little, but the potential is there," Jeff replies.

Jared feels awkward, standing there as they talk about him and crosses his arms over his chest, feeling defensive. "I'm right here," he mutters and Jensen looks at him.

"And I'm trying to make sure it stays that way," he says, the words spoken firmly though not unkindly. Jared presses his lips together and doesn't reply.

~~

Jensen takes Jared back to his apartment. Jared tries to protest, but Jensen insists, telling him he knows how long the buses take, and Jared gives in pretty quickly because he really wants a hot shower and food as soon as possible.

The bad thing is that the truck is Jeff's and Jensen's only mode of transportation is the motorcycle. Part of Jared is thrilled — he's never been on one and his mother would kill him if she found out about it — but being pressed up against Jensen is more than a little awkward. Jared has his arms wrapped around Jensen's waist and Jensen is firm and warm; being this close to him makes Jared's head spin.

This is the guy he was supposed to marry. Jared wonders if he'd feel differently about Jensen if he'd grown up in the fae realm. If everything Jensen told him is true, if fae sexuality is that different, then what does that mean for Jared? That he's not straight, even though he never once in his life thought about guys like that? Would he have fallen in love with Jensen if he hadn't been given away? Would they, perhaps, already be married?

Jared is glad when Jensen finally stops in front of his building and he can get off the motorcycle, away from Jensen. "Thanks for taking me home," he says awkwardly as he hands the spare helmet back to Jensen. Jensen, who has taken his own helmet off as well, takes it and stores it in the backseat.

"No problem," he says.

"Yeah," Jared says and awkwardly stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "So. This undoing my block thing. You'll let me know when you made some progress?"

Jensen swings his leg back over his motorcycle and shrugs. "There's a spell, but I'll need some time. I need some ingredients for it that aren't easy to come by, but I'll try to call in some favors," he says.

"Okay. Thanks," Jared says. "Again."

"No worries, Jared," Jensen replies. "I might drop by when you train with Jeff every now and then."

Jared nods and then turns around, walking up to the front door. He doesn't turn around, not even when the engine of the motorcycle roars to life and Jensen drives off.

~ ~

Jared googles homosexuality.

Actually, he googles the term gay first and there's an overwhelming amount of links to things Jared doesn't want to see. The last thing he needs right now are pictures and videos of guys together, in various states of undress. So he quickly backtracks and googles homosexuality, which he hopes will give him facts rather than porn. The link to Wikipedia seems like the best option because at least Jared knows the site is safe and there'll be no surprise nudity.

He isn't really sure what he hopes he'll find. Maybe 'Just because you're fae doesn't mean you like guys' written in bold red letters. _Any_ thing that will reassure him that Jensen was wrong about his sexuality. And yes, the things he reads are all about humans and not fae, but surely Jared would have felt drawn to guys if this whole 'fae don't care about gender' thing was true. Jared's never been attracted to a guy before. He thinks some are good-looking, but that thought has never been followed by 'I want to make out with them'. The only time he'd wondered what gay sex was like was when he watched that porn with Chad, both of them drunk and giggling through the whole thing, and even then Jared hadn't thought he wanted to try that himself for even a second. In fact, even when the guys on screen seemed to be enjoying themselves, Jared had been convinced that it couldn't be all that pleasant.

And yet Jensen sounded so sure that fae aren't straight and the thought keeps niggling at Jared's brain.

For a moment, he allows himself to picture Jensen as not just some guy, some fae, but someone he's interested in. Jensen's enigmatic, no doubt, and he's good-looking. More than just good-looking. With his face, and his height, and his body, and the whole jeans and leather biker outfit he wears, Jared can see the appeal. But he doesn't want that, has never wanted that. He likes girls. He likes soft curves and long hair, likes girls that are petite and smell nice.

Maybe he's drawn to Jensen in a weird way, like there's something deep inside of him that recognizes him, that feels some sort of connection to him, but that must be a fae thing. Or that stupid bond that Jensen talked about. But it's not who Jared is.

Jared, fae or not, is just a guy like all the other guys he knows. And that includes liking girls.

His mind made up, he calls Sandy. And when he meets up with her a couple of hours later, he hugs her close and feels himself calm down when the sweet smell of her shampoo is as pleasant as ever and her smile makes his stomach swoop.

"Guess you missed me, huh?" she asks, laughing softly. In reply Jared leans down and kisses her.

~ ~

Jared trains with Jeff twice a week, Wednesday afternoon and then for a few hours on the weekend. They usually meet at Jeff's place — a large apartment in an old warehouse with an extra room just for training sessions. Jared likes it there, and it's easier to get to than Jensen's place, but he does wish he could be outside, standing in the grass and breathing in the smell of flowers like the first time they did this.

Jensen sometimes comes around, a few times helping out by stepping in and showing Jared some more complicated moves with Jeff, but most of the time he doesn't stay for very long. Sometimes, he stops by not too long before Jared and Jeff finish for the way, chats with them a little, and then offers to take Jared home on his motorcycle.

"It's not an inconvenience, Jared," he stresses one day when Jared tries to tell him he can take the bus.

"It's not on your way," Jared points out, and Jensen sighs.

"Well, maybe I like knowing that you get home safe," he says, and Jared doesn't really know how to argue with that. It's kind of nice, if unnecessary, that Jensen goes out of his way to make sure he's safe and the bus rides take up a lot of Jared's time anyway.

Chad grumbles out a few complaints that Jared never goes out with them anymore, but Jared doesn't feel like partying or drinking when he has fight training for hours on end the next day. He can tell that Sandy isn't exactly happy either — unlike Chad, she never complains, but with classes and studying on top of training, he doesn't have a lot of time left and Sandy has her own things to do, too.

They text and call each other, but it's not the same. Especially since they've only just started seeing each other. Whenever they actually do get to spend some time together, Jared tries really hard to make the most of it and make her happy, but he feels stretched thin pretty quickly.

"You could just work out at the gym on campus, it would save some time," Sandy says when they're getting coffee together between classes one day. "I mean, would it be that different?"

"It's not really the same. I'm not just working out, I'm learning how to defend myself," Jared points out.

Sandy shrugs. "Well, I'm sure they offer self-defense classes on campus too. Right?"

Jared doesn't actually know, but he can't really tell Sandy the truth, so he hedges, "Jeff's a friend of a friend though and he's real good. Training with him is good for me."

"You think you're ever going to need self-defense?" Sandy teases.

"You never know," Jared says, keeping his voice light. The way Jensen makes it sound, sooner or later Jared definitely will need to be able to fight and the thought kind of terrifies him a little. He just hopes that, if someone ever does come for him, he'll have learned enough by then and be able to defend himself.

He feels a little better about his chances after just a few weeks with Jeff though, feels like he's starting to pick things up more and more easily with every training session. The other good thing about having Jeff as his teacher is that Jared can quiz him about fae.

He likes to listen to Jeff tell him stories about his friends and family, explain fae traditions. There are many things that still puzzle Jared — arranged marriages, no matter how many times he's told are normal for fae, seem outdated and unfair to him. Magic is something he thinks he's not going to fully grasp until Jensen manages to lift the block. The bond that exists between spouses seems strange to him, forced onto them by magic.

There are other things he learns too, like the fact that fae age differently. Jared finds that out when he asks Jeff how old he is and finds out Jeff is actually more than a few _decades_ older than Jared assumed.

"We age like humans for about 20 to 25 years, until we're grown up, but then aging slows down considerably," Jeff tells him.

"How old is Jensen?" Jared asks, suspicious.

"29. He's still a young'n," Jeff says with a grin.

"That's still a lot older than me," Jared points out.

"Well, it might seem like that now. But in a few years, a ten year age difference will seem like nothing to you," Jeff assures him.

The thing that startles Jared the most though is when Jeff describes the realm to him.

"That's in my dreams," Jared says when Jeff starts talking about the steep hills and the endless green meadows to him and Jeff nods.

"Yeah. Jensen mentioned those."

"Oh. I thought it was something my brain had made up," Jared says. Jeff gives him a kind smile.

"No. That's the fae realm. _Home_ ," he tells Jared. "You're a fae, so you'll always be connected to it and in your dreams you were always able to be where you were really supposed to be."

"Are you saying my family, my _home_ , isn't where I'm supposed to be?" The thought alone makes Jared's stomach turn.

Jeff sighs. "They'll always be your family, Jared, but you're a fae. I've lived in the human realm on and off for a long time, but I've never felt quite right here. We don't completely fit in in the human world," he says.

~ ~

Jensen is leaning against his motorcycle, arms and ankles crossed. Jared's eyes zero in on him the moment he's within sight, walking from campus to a little café with a group of his friends, and his heart gives a little lurch.

"I gotta go talk to someone," he starts, looking at them. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Matt and Sophia just shrug, unbothered, but Sandy and Chad look puzzled and Jared is very conscious of the fact that they are watching him as he jogs up to Jensen.

"What are you doing here?"

Jensen pushes off the bike, and slides his hands into the pockets of his black jeans. "I just wanted to check up on you. I couldn't make it to the last couple of sessions with Jeff, so I thought I'd drop by."

"I have plans with my friends," Jared says and Jensen nods.

"I really just wanted to talk to you for a minute or two. Jeff tells me training's been going pretty well."

"Yeah, I think so," Jared says and Jensen smiles.

"You like it?"

"I do, actually," Jared admits. Jensen looks pleased at that.

"Good. That's great."

"How's the spell thing going?" Jared asks.

Jensen sighs. "I told you it might take a while."

"Been a few weeks," Jared replies lightly and Jensen frowns.

"It'll be a few more," he says. "I'm doing my best, Jared."

There's something in the way he says it, the way he sounds tired and frustrated, that makes Jared backpaddle. "I wasn't saying you aren't," he quickly replies and throws a quick glance over his shoulder. "Look, I gotta get back to my friends. I'll see you around?"

Jensen accepts Jared's hasty exit easily, nodding and saying goodbye.

"Who was that?" Sandy asks once Jared is close enough. She winds her arm around Jared's waist and gets up on her tiptoes. Jared leans down, kisses her quickly.

"Someone I know from the martial arts thing," he says, sliding his own arm around her shoulder and hoping that she won't ask anymore questions. The last person he wants to talk about Jensen with is Sandy.

He glances back as they leave and sees Jensen is still there, watching them, and knows Jensen saw him kiss Sandy, too. He's not sure whether to feel happy about it or feel a little bad for Jensen.

~ ~

Jensen makes himself even more scarce after that. For three weeks, he isn't around at all, and Jared finally gives in and asks Jeff about where Jensen is after one of their sessions.

"He's busy taking care of some things," Jeff says as Jared wipes sweat off his brow. 

"What kind of things?" Jared prods.

"This and that. He's got stuff to do at home and he's trying to protect you as best as he can, make sure nobody finds you."

"So he's not avoiding me."

"Does he have a reason to?" Jeff counters.

"No," Jared quickly denies, then frowns. "I'm straight. It's not my fault my parents promised me to some guy before I was born."

"Things work differently in our world, Jared. We both told you that."

"Well, this here is the world I live in. It's all I know."

Jeff sighs and claps him on the shoulder. "I know that, Jared. But maybe try seeing it from his perspective because all Jensen really knows are the societal norms and traditions _he_ grew up with," he says. "This isn't easy for him either."

~ ~

Jensen calls him a few days later and invites Jared over for dinner, and Jared knows Jeff must have said something to him. "I think maybe we should talk about you and I, the bond," Jensen says. "And I can give you an update on what I've been up to as well."

"Sounds good," Jared agrees, though he can think about much more pleasant things he could be doing than spending the evening talking about the arrangement their parents made for them and what it means. But maybe Jeff is right,and Jared needs to try a little harder to understand Jensen as well.

Jensen offers to pick him up, but Jared puts his foot down this time and takes the bus. When he gets there, he finds out they're actually not having dinner alone, but that Jensen has a friend around. Jensen doesn't have to tell Jared she's fae, he can tell just like he could with Jeff, and Jensen introduces her as Danneel. Much like Jensen, she looks a little like she could be on the cover of some magazine, her face open and pretty, long auburn hair tumbling down her back in soft waves. And she's got the body of a model, too, the thin black cotton dress she's wearing clinging to her nicely.

"Danneel's a very good friend of mine," Jensen says as he introduces them and he shares a smile with Danneel before turning to Jared. There's something in the smile that makes Jared wonder if there's more to it, which it's not like he'd care. He's sure Jensen isn't a monk and as far as Jared is concerned he doesn't owe Jared anything, betrothal or not.

Jensen leads them out the patio and starts serving them food. There's freshly made bread, grilled vegetables, some kind of seaweed salad that Jared is a little hesitant to try, and grilled chicken.

"This is pretty good," Danneel says as they start eating, and then grins. "For human food."

Jensen makes a face and they both laugh, and Jared coughs. They both look at him and he shrugs sheepishly. "Sorry. Crumbs in my throat," he says and picks up his glass of water. "So. You wanted to talk, Jensen."

"Right, yeah," Jensen says. "I wanted to talk to you about the whole betrothal again. The bond. I know how you feel about it, but I think it's important that you know what it means. And, well, I'm not always the best at explaining things so maybe Danneel can help out."

"Okay," Jared agrees.

Jensen picks up his glass, some sweet wine that Jared declined, and takes a few sips. The dark leather of his bracelet stands out against his tan skin, the little charm — a silver leaf — dangling from it.

"Look, I know when I first tried to explain, things got a bit out of hand," Jensen starts, and Jared blushes a little because _he kicked Jensen out_. "But let me try again, okay? Just be patient with me."

"I can try that."

Jensen smiles at him. "See, the thing is you have to let go of all your... _human_ ideas about marriages and betrothals. It's not like that for us," he says. "Think of the bond like an oath. Two bonded fae will always take care of each other, protect each other. It's a pretty strong feeling, and I know to you that sounds restrictive perhaps, but it's not. The bond to a spouse is something we cherish, something comforting."

"Think of the way you feel about your family," Danneel says.

"But the bond was created without our agreement. It was decided _for_ us," Jared argues.

"Well, we can't exactly choose our families either, can we?" Danneel replies with a shrug. "And yes, I'm aware it's a little different. But being bonded is a wonderful thing, Jared. Maybe you have to feel it to understand it, but I don't think I've ever met a fae who was betrothed and regretted that. And you have to understand, it's the backbone of our society. Fae are strong and if the strongest ones among us didn't form alliances through marriage among each other, there'd probably be chaos. Most of us, through some way or another, are in an alliance. Sometimes it's several degrees removed, but we know that any power struggle would greatly impact everyone. We can't afford fighting with each other. So these alliances protect our entire realm."

"Doesn't that make you feel like a pawn though?" Jared asks.

Jensen looks down at his plate. "No," he says. "If you felt what I feel, you'd never even consider thinking of it that way. Jared, I would do anything to protect you. You're part of the reason why I'm alive and I can never feel anything but grateful for that."

The words make Jared's breath catch a little, because Jared knows Jensen is completely sincere. They don't even know each other very well yet, but Jensen genuinely feels this way. Maybe Jeff is right and Jared doesn't understand how Jensen feels at all, not even a little.

"Anyway," Jensen picks up the conversation. "The bond is forged through magic and your magic is blocked. I kind of expected this before I found you, but the block must be the reason you're not feeling our bond. It's like everything that's fae about you is muted."

"So if you unblock my magic," Jared says and trails off.

"Maybe," Jensen says.

Jared frowns. "Would I still have a choice?" he asks. "Would I still be able to say no to you?"

"Yes. The bond doesn't compel us to be with each other. You'd feel some things: protective, you'd care for me. But it's not going to make you fall in love with me," Jensen says. "These things usually go hand in hand, but that's because usually fae who are betrothed at such a young age grow up around each other anyway. They feel the bond all their lives and they'll spend a lot of time together before they're married. Think of it like a childhood best friend."

"You love each other dearly," Danneel adds. "My parents arranged my marriage as well and I grew up bonded to my wife. But I never felt like I was forced in anything, I promise you. She's my best friend, my world, but I didn't fall in love with her until we were older. It's something that grew between us. It was natural, that's the best way I can describe it. The bond is part of it, but it's more than that. It's more like the bond connects us, like it adds to what we have and allowed it to grow even more."

"It might be different for us," Jensen says. "We didn't grow up together. We don't have the friendship other bonded pairs have, and you… you're different. You're a fae, but in a lot of ways you're human, too. Not everything we feel and think is innately us; it's how we're taught to see things and perceive things and the environment has taught you very different things than mine."

"I don't… I have a girlfriend, Jensen," Jared says and his chest feels a little tight. "She's great. She's the kind of person I always thought I'd end up with, and even if it doesn't work out, I can't see myself being with someone who isn't like her. I can't see myself with a guy."

Jensen nods. "Okay. I can accept that. Well, I'll have to anyway," he says and Jared feels a little relief at that.

"So, you wanted to tell me what you've been up to?" he asks, desperate to change the subject.

"The spell, for one. I've been trying to gather everything I need," Jensen says. "And we're tracking the fae that's after you. After us. Mostly everyone who initially plotted to kill you has been indicted, but the daughter of one of them is still out for blood. Adrianne and some fae she's rallied around her are trying to find you… I fear the more time I spend in the human realm, the more they're starting to suspect I've found you."

"You said _after us_ ," Jared repeats.

Jensen shrugs. "They just wanted to make sure our union never happened. They could have killed me just as well to accomplish that," he says. "Our parents just took different routes. Yours hid you away, mine surrounded me with guards and made sure I knew how to protect myself."

"So they could be coming after you, too?" Jared asks and it's a thought that never really crossed his mind until then. He can't imagine Jensen in danger because most days he seems almost untouchable.

Jensen smiles. "Well, I doubt it. I'm a very good fighter. But you? You're basically defenseless," he reminds Jared. "Which is why your training is so important."

Jared nods. "I know. I'm working as hard as I can."

"I know you are," Jensen assures him.

~ ~

The realization that Jensen is in as much danger as he is, that he could get hurt, won't leave Jared alone. Jensen could be out there, tracking Adrianne and trying to find what he needs to unblock Jared's powers and get hurt, and Jared wouldn't even know it. And in a way it'd be Jared's fault, because Jensen is trying to protect him. If it wasn't for him, Jensen could be trying to keep a low profile, to keep safe, instead of going after the very person who is trying to hurt them.

It makes Jared feel helpless, makes him hate that he can't defend and protect himself yet.

No matter what's going on between them, Jensen is a good guy and Jared doesn't want to be the reason he gets hurt. He doesn't want him to suddenly be gone, to leave Jared's life as quickly as he came into it. The thought alone makes his heart hurt.

Thinking about it leaves him restless, so he catches a bus out to Jensen's house a few days later. It's only when he stands outside the gate, ringing the doorbell, that he thinks he should have called first, made sure Jensen is around. Not away, putting himself in danger.

He isn't though. He's there and he lets Jared in, looking not entirely unhappy to see him.

"What are you doing here?"

Jared isn't really sure what to say. It's not like he can do anything to keep Jensen safe and he knows he can't keep Jensen from going after Adrianne either. Jensen is going to keep doing what he needs to and Jared isn't in any position to help.

"Can I come in? Hang out?" he asks, because he feels the need to be around Jensen right now. He can't really explain it, because he shouldn't care that much, should be wanting to spend time with Sandy or Chad instead.

"Sure. Of course, Jared," Jensen says. "You can come here anytime. Even if I'm not around."

He steps aside and ushers Jared inside. "Thanks," Jared says politely.

"Want a drink?" Jensen asks and gives him a crooked smile. "I have cherry coke."

"That's my favorite," Jared says.

"Yeah. I heard you mention that to Jeff a couple of weeks ago," Jensen admits. "And you didn't seem to like the wine we had when Danneel was here, so I stocked up."

Jared isn't sure what to say, so he ducks his head. "Cherry coke would be good," he says.

He heads into the living room without Jensen and flops down onto the couch. Jensen joins him moments later with a can of coke and a bottle of water for himself. "So what's up?" he asks. "What are you doing here?"

Jared pops open his can and shrugs. "I just felt like dropping by," he says and takes a sip of his drink. Jensen doesn't reply and he takes that as his cue to elaborate, so he adds, "I guess this whole thing is just messing with my head a little."

"Look, I can't really say I understand," Jensen admits. "But I can imagine that it must be very overwhelming."

"Yeah," Jared agrees and sighs. "It's just… I was just a normal guy and now suddenly my life is in danger."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Jensen intones. Jared slumps.

"But something could happen to you," he says. "What do I do if you get hurt?"

Jensen puts his unopened bottle of water onto the coffee table and turns toward him. "You don't have to worry about that, okay? Jeff and Danneel will keep you safe. There are others too, people I trust that will take care of you. But if something happens to me, you just stick with Jeff and Danneel and do whatever they say."

It's not what Jared was talking about, but he doesn't know how to tell Jensen that the thought of him getting hurt, because of Jared nonetheless, terrifies him. So he just nods.

"How about we talk about something else, huh?" Jensen suggests.

"Like what?" Jared asks.

"Anything. How's everything else? How are your classes?"

Jared snorts, amused. "You want to know about my classes?"

"They matter to you, right? So tell me about them," Jensen replies.

"They're good, I guess," Jared says and shrugs. "I'm probably not spending as much time focusing on classes as I should, but well, you know."

"Yeah," Jensen admits and grimaces. "I wish it was different, you know?"

"It's fine," Jared quickly says. "And I'm doing fine. Just got a little less time for other stuff, but it's not a big deal… unless you ask Chad, of course. He likes to act as if I've abandoned him."

"Your roommate, right?"

"And best friend," Jared says and wrinkles his nose. "He can get… kinda needy. Though of course he'd tell you he doesn't care, because he likes to pretend he's this cool, manly guy who doesn't have feelings, but he's kinda sensitive. I once forgot we had plans to hang out 'cause I was studying for a test, and by the time I remembered I was already, like, twenty minutes late and he wouldn't talk to me for three days. Made me grovel and buy him dinner."

Jensen snorts. "Sounds interesting."

"Yeah. I don't think you two'd be best friends," Jared admits. "But he's a good guy. A good friend."

"It's good to have those," Jensen says.

"Yeah. Like Jeff and Danneel, right?"

"Yeah. Except I think Jeff already likes you more than me," Jensen teases. "He's been full of praise for you."

Jared ducks his head. "I like working with him," he says. "He's a good teacher."

"Yeah, he taught me a thing or two, too. But he likes to tell me I was a hot-headed little shit. Still am, probably. So I think he likes you a lot better than me."

"Well, I am pretty awesome," Jared says playfully.

"Jury's still out on that," Jensen replies, and Jared pokes him in the side in return. He feels lighter already, better than he has in days. It's nice to just hang out with Jensen, he realizes, to just talk and tease and get to know each other better.

When Jensen drops Jared off at his apartment again a few hours later, Jared gives him a quick hug. "Don't get hurt, okay?" he asks.

Jensen gives him a small smile. "I'll try," he says, and Jared knows that's probably the best answer he'll get.

~~

A few days later Jared passes a girl handing out fliers for a Halloween party that weekend at the pub on campus when he sees a man and a woman across the lawn. Something about them feels off; it's a little like when he looked at Jensen for the first time, or even meeting Jeff and Danneel and sensing something about them that was different, only this time it sets him on edge.

He turns around and quickly ducks back into the building, his heart beating like crazy in his chest. He picks his way through hallways until he finds one that's relatively empty and pulls out his cell phone.

Jensen picks up after just a couple of rings. "Hey Jared. What's up?"

"Did you send someone to campus?" Jared asks, and hopes against hope that the answer is yes.

"What? Why are you asking?"

"I think there are two fae here. There was this man and a woman and I just felt something. Like with you and Jeff and Danneel. Like I just knew they were fae."

"Shit," Jensen mutters. "Okay, I'll come get you. Do you have classes?"

"One, but I can skip it," Jared says, because there's no way he's going to be able to focus on class. "Is it safe if I leave campus? What if they find me?"

"You're fine. The spells are weaker, but you're still protected."

"You found me."

"I'm bonded to you, that's different," Jensen reminds him. "I could feel you once I was close enough to you, but nobody else would be able to tell you're fae. Until I lift the spell, you'll feel just like any other human to them."

"Okay, if you're sure," Jared says, breathing a little easier. "How'd you find me anyway? You didn't know where in California I was, right?"

Jensen laughed. "I assumed you were at college and you were talking about beaches. So I looked up colleges close to the coast and just went from place to place. Got lucky pretty early on," he says. "But nobody else but me would be able to find you just like that, so you don't have to be worried. Just act normal and I'll come get you. There's a big grocery store a short walk away from campus, you know which one I mean?"

"Walmart?" Jared guesses.

"Yeah, that's the one. Go there and wait for me in the parking lot. I'll be there in thirty minutes, okay?"

"Thank you," Jared says, feeling a little better. They hang up, but Jared keeps his cellphone in the pocket of his jeans just in case. He doesn't see the woman and the man anymore when he leaves the building this time, and he tries to seem casual, carefree, as he walks off campus.

He still doesn't feel much better until he's standing by the store overlooking the parking lot and hears the roar of Jensen's motorcycle. Jensen stops right in front of him and pushes his helmet up high enough to be able to talk.

"Grab a helmet and hop on," he says and Jared does as he's told. Unlike the first time he was on the back of bike, Jared feels glad to be able to wrap his arms around Jensen this time. He holds on to him and tries not to think about anything until they reach Jensen's house.

"Why do you think they were on campus if they couldn't have tracked me?" Jared asks, once they're seated in the living room. Jensen runs a hand over his face and Jared notes that he looks a little tired.

"My best guess is they tracked me or one of the others back here. I've been going back and forth between the realms a lot lately, so they might just have gotten lucky and followed me without me realizing," he says. "And they probably guessed that you went to college, just like I did. You're the right age."

"What do I do now?" Jared asks.

"For now, nothing. The good thing is, as long as they can't sense you, they won't be able to tell you apart from any other humans. And even if they tracked me or someone working for me back here somehow, we're concealing ourselves as best as we can. There won't be able to tell any of us are here permanently, so as far as they know it might just be a place I went to once. My guess is that they'll snoop around a little and leave once they can't find anything. And they won't."

"So we just wait."

"I got some people on campus right now, looking around. And I'll go check it out myself, too," Jensen says. "I just wanted to make sure you're settled first."

"Is it safe?"

"Don't worry," Jensen assures him. "We know how to conceal ourselves. Is it okay if I leave you alone?"

Jared nods, if a bit reluctantly. Jensen gets up and for a moment, he looks like he wants to reach out to him, but he just gives Jared a small smile. "The house is heavily protected. You're safe here. It would take someone a lot more powerful that Adrianne's cronies to even find the house, let alone you. Okay?"

"Okay. Be careful, please?" Jared says and Jensen nods.

It's a bit weird to be at Jensen's place on his own. There's no TV or anything to pass the time, so Jared pulls a book for class from his backpack, curls up on the couch, and starts reading. Sandy texts him after a while, asking him if he wants to hang out. She knows Jared's last class of the day is about to let out soon.

Jared texts her back and tells her he has to study. He feels bad about it, but he doesn't see a way around the lie. It makes him feel like a horrible boyfriend though — there are so many things he can't share with Sandy, that he has to keep a secret and lie about, and it shouldn't be that way.

Jensen doesn't come back for a few hours and Jared is starting to feel jumpy when he finally hears the engine of the motorcycle and soon after, the front door opens and closes.

"Find anything?" Jared asks when Jensen comes into view, and Jensen shrugs, taking of his leather jacket and dropping it over the back of the couch. He sits down next to Jared with a sigh.

"Some traces. They weren't trying to be very subtle, so I doubt they really knew much; just looking around probably. I have someone tracking them and I put some extra protection up around your apartment building," he says. "For tonight, someone is there watching it, too, but I'd feel a little better if you stayed here. Just in case. I have a guest room you can use."

"Yeah. That'd be great, actually," Jared admits, pulling one leg up on the couch. They're sitting close enough that Jared feels the warmth of Jensen's body. He turns into him a little.

"Jensen. Thank you so much. For everything today," he says softly.

"I told you. I'd do anything to protect you."

"Yeah," Jared says. They're close, so close that for a second Jared thinks about what it would be like to lean in and kiss Jensen. What it would feel like having Jensen's lips pressed against his, parting under his. His heart beats faster.

As soon as the thought crosses his mind he feels a flash of guilt. He's with Sandy, and he doesn't even want Jensen in that way. It's this whole fae and betrothal thing that's messing with his mind, confusing him when there's nothing to be confused about.

~~

"Where were you last night?" Sandy asks, sitting down at the end of Jared's bed. She holds herself a little stiffly and Jared sits down across from her with a building sense of dread.

"Just busy," he says, trying to shrug it off.

Sandy frowns. "I tried calling you here, thought we could see a movie together. Chad said you weren't around and he had no idea where you were either."

"I was with a friend," Jared says. "I had training for a couple of hours and then we started talking. You know how that is."

"Jared," Sandy says softly.

"What?"

"You're always training. What's going on?" Sandy gives him a look. "This isn't like you. I've never seen you so obsessed over something since I met you. You barely have time for anything else outside of classes."

"I just really like it," Jared lies. "It's fun and I'm really good at it."

"Are you sure? Because I thought doing sports is supposed to make a person feel more balanced, but you've never been so tense and weird," Sandy tells him. She pushes her hands on her lap and fiddles with the string of her hoodie that's hanging down. "This isn't how I thought it'd be."

"What?"

"You and I. I just… I saw you more last semester than I do now. I thought being in a relationship would mean we'd actually get to spend _more_ time together."

"I'm trying, Sandy," Jared says gently. "I really am."

Sandy looks sad. "I know. But it feels like you're not really here with me anyway."

"There's just a lot of stuff going on." Jared hesitates. "Look, I found some things out about my parents. My birth parents, I mean. It's been a lot to handle."

"What?" Sandy gasps. "Jared. I didn't know you were even looking for them!"

"I wasn't really. There was just… someone who knew them who found me, I guess."

"Is it good or bad?"

"I don't know yet. Both, I guess. It's good to know some things about them, at least," Jared admits.

Sandy looks at him with a somber face, nodding, her eyes looking a little watery. "Jared, don't take this the wrong way. I'm glad you got some clarity. I want you to be happy, you know that," she says softly. "I just… I wish you'd told me. I wish you'd talk to me about… anything, really. Being in a relationship isn't just about having a good time together."

Jared presses his lips together in a tight line, trying to think of what to say to that. Sandy is absolutely right, but he doesn't know how to explain to her that there are things he can't share with her. Not even if he wanted to. "I'm just trying to figure things out, Sandy. I'm in a weird place right now, I guess."

"Yeah, okay," Sandy says. She still looks sad, but when Jared leans forward and kisses her she still leans into it and kisses him back.

~~

In an effort to show he's trying to be better, Jared goes to a Halloween party with Sandy and Chad that weekend. He doesn't really have a costume, didn't think to get one, so he throws something together at the last minute and ends up in basketball shorts and matching jersey from Chad.

Sandy looks gorgeous in a long black dress, her dark hair brushed back. Her face is pale, her eyes heavily rimmed, and the red lipstick is joined by a smear of what is supposed to look like blood down her chin.

Jared dances with her and she doesn't seem to mind that he can't really move well at all, and he has a couple of shots and a few cups of some bright green punch. It's not a bad party. Jared is enjoying himself, but he feels a little distracted. It's weird to be in a room with so many students, all of them having a good time and seeming so carefree. Jared should be like them. But he isn't — he's different in ways he never thought possible.

After a few hours, all of them at least a little tipsy, they leave. Sandy and he part with a kiss, Sandy telling him she wants to go home with Sophia who is more than a little drunk, and so Jared walks home with Chad.

"I think I'm fucking things up with Sandy," he admits as they walk down the dark street, and kicks at the ground.

"Dude, what?" Chad says, a little slurred.

Jared sighs. "I don't have a lot of time for her and she feels like I'm not sharing some things with her."

"Are you?"

"I don't know. Maybe," Jared says, frowning. "There's just a lot of stuff going on."

"Well, you want my serious opinion?"

"Yes," Jared says and braces himself for some ridiculous drunk Chad logic.

"Sandy is a pretty great girl. And damn hot," Chad tells him. "But if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. If you were crazy about her, you'd probably make more of an effort. 'Cause, you know, you're the kind of guy who makes efforts."

Jared snorts and shakes his head, but he can't deny that Chad might not be horribly off-track. "Maybe," he concedes.

"There isn't anybody else, right?" Chad asks, sounding suspicious.

"No," Jared quickly says. "No. I mean, not really. Not like that."

Even to his own ears it doesn't sound completely convincing. It's not even a lie, because what he and Jensen have is a weird sort of friendship at best, and yet it feels like a lie anyway.

"You dog," Chad crows and laughs.


	3. Chapter 3

~~

A week later, Jensen tells him he has everything he needs for the spell to unblock Jared's magic. He suggests doing it over a long weekend, because he says Jared might need some time to get used to it and Jensen will have to perform a bunch of spells to make sure Jared is still concealed from other fae afterward.

There aren't a lot of options. Jared doesn't really want to skip several days of classes, so he suggests doing it over Thanksgiving. He reasons that Christmas is coming up soon after, so he'll get to see his family, and if he's quite honest he doesn't know how to face his family now. He never minded being adopted, but not being human was a whole other thing.

Jensen doesn't fully understand human holidays, so he doesn't really question Jared's decision. Jared's parents are trickier, but after a very long phone conversation where Jared tells them that school work has been piling up and he could really use the time to work on a few important assignments, they agree, though Jared is pretty sure his mother is about to cry.

"I'll see you at Christmas," Jared promises her. "You can hug me extra long and feed me twice as much."

"I just hate the thought of you being alone, honey," his mother admits.

"I have some friends here that I can have dinner with or something. It's fine," he says and tells himself it's not really a lie.

Having to wait until Thanksgiving knowing what is going to happen is torture. Jared is nervous and excited and scared all at once, unsure about how it’s going to affect him.

"What if something goes wrong?" Jared asks, wiggling his bare toes in the grass of Jensen's backyard a few days after they've settled on a date.

"Like what?" Jensen takes a sip from the beer Jared had brought — thanks to Chad who got him a fake ID — and grimaces. "God, this stuff is bitter."

"Suck it up, fae boy," Jared teases and then gets more somber again, shrugging. "I don't know. There are all kinds of things that could go wrong. What if you can't conceal me afterward? If Adrianne finds me?"

"She won't. The spells are fool-proof, Jared, I promise. They're working on all of us."

"Yeah, but there's been spells on me for years and they're wearing off. What if I'm immune or something?"

Jensen gives him a small smile. "They were always meant to wear off. There's nothing weird about that," he says. "And you're not immune. There's no such thing. Everything will be fine."

Jared takes a sip of his own beer and lets his toes brush against a flower. Jensen's backyard still looks the same way it did in the summer, everything lush and in bloom and beautiful. "And it doesn't hurt, right?" he says contemplatively.

"It's not going to hurt," Jensen promises. "Trust me, okay?"

Jared breathes in deeply and nods. "I do. I'm just… nervous. Scared."

"I think anyone would be," Jensen concedes. He takes another sip from the bottle and then shakes his head, pulling a face. "Okay. I give up. You can have this and I'll go grab a glass of wine."

Jared laughs. "Wuss," he teases, but he takes the bottle. He walks with Jensen back to the porch and sits down on the lowest step, putting Jensen's bottle down by his foot while Jensen goes inside to get his drink. Jensen returns after a minute and sits down next to him, a glass of the wine in his hand.

"This is much better," he says. "I don't know how you drink that vile stuff."

"It's a human thing," Jared teases, but the words make his stomach lurch. It's a new worry that cropped up over the last few days, ever since Jensen told him he's ready to lift the block off Jared. A few weeks ago, he would have given anything to be normal, human, but now the idea makes his skin crawl.

"What?" Jensen asks.

Jared shrugs. "What if nothing happens? After the spell?"

"I got the right spell and all the right ingredients, Jared. I double and triple checked everything," Jensen says, tone reassuring and soft, and Jared hates that it makes tears begin to well up in his eyes.

"What if you have the wrong guy after all, though?" he says, and his voice cracks a little. He looks down at his hands, clasping the bottle of beer, and refuses to look up at Jensen. A warm, big hand settles on the nape of his neck.

"I don't. I knew it was you the second I laid eyes on you," Jensen says and squeezes his neck gently. "You'll get it once we do the spell. How it feels. There's not even the smallest chance I made a mistake."

"Promise?" Jared asks, and he suddenly feels like it's the most important question he's ever asked. He remembers how it felt like his world was crumbling apart when Jensen first told him about who he is, about them, but he's sure if it turned out he was wrong now it would feel even worse.

"I promise, Jared. If there's one thing I can promise you, it's that," Jensen says. "And hey, maybe once we've unlocked your fae powers your real tastebuds will kick in, too, and you'll realize how absolutely wrong you are about this whole beer thing."

The words startle a laugh out of Jared and he shakes his head, nudging Jensen with his shoulder. "No fucking way," he says.

~ ~

Despite Jensen's reassurances, Jared is still a nervous ball of energy by the time his last class before the break ends.

He goes back to his place and grabs the bag he packed the night before — both Chad and Sandy think he is going to Texas — and makes his way across town to Jensen's.

The house smells different, like herbs and a little citrusy, and Jared drops his bag in the spare room before joining Jensen in the kitchen. He watches him brew what looks like a normal tea.

"That's it?"

Jensen gives him a small smile. "I told you. Our magic is different than you might think it is," he says. "And it took me months to get everything I needed for this."

"Sorry," Jared says sheepishly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. The difficult part is over; this is really easy," Jensen assures him. "In fact, you'll probably think it's quite anti-climactic."

"Well, that means no sacrificing goats or carving things into my chest, so I'm good with that," Jared says, rolling on the balls of his feet as Jensen pours the brew into a big mug.

"Okay, let's do this outside," Jensen says. He carries the brew carefully and Jared follows him out into the backyard. Jensen leads them to the trees toward the end of his property, past a small cluster of fir trees, to what resembles a small clearing. It's not exactly round, on one side there are no trees at all, but it's lined with small flowers and the ground is covered in moss and grass.

Jensen puts the mug down and pulls a little pot, about the size of a walnut, from the pocket of his jeans. "Paint," he says. "You need to hold still while I paint some sigils on you, and then you need to drink the whole mug, okay?"

"Got it," Jared says and tries to relax. Jensen unscrews the pot, gets some paint on his pointer finger, and starts. He draws things onto Jared's forehead, his neck, the column of his throat, and finally on his wrists.

"Okay," he murmurs and bends down to pick up the mug. "Now drink this."

Jared takes the mug from him and takes a careful sip. It's cooled down enough not to burn him, but it tastes horrible. Bitter and kind of perfumey. Jared grimaces but keeps drinking, swallowing it all down until the mug is empty.

"And now?" he asks, and Jensen laughs.

"That's it," he says.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said it would be anti-climactic," Jared notes and then frowns a little. "I don't really feel any different."

"Give it a little time," Jensen says. "In fact, I've been told that it's best if you lie down and try to get some sleep, let your body handle things."

Jared doesn't really feel tired, but he agrees to lie down. To his surprise, once he's inside and snuggled up in bed, he feels his eyes getting heavy after just a little while.

It's dark outside by the time he wakes up and for a few moments, Jared feels confused until he remembers where he is. He feels a little weird, his stomach a little queasy. He switches the bedside lamp on and hisses at how bright it is, blinking his eyes furiously.

He gets up and goes downstairs, finding Jensen in the kitchen, back to Jared. Seeing him makes Jared stop short in the doorway.

Jensen turns around. "Hey. How are you feeling?" he asks, and his voice seems even smoother than before, cutting Jared down to the bones.

He feels like something is tugging at his heart. There's something about Jensen that got to him from the very start, but it's different now. It's like Jensen is radiating power, and warmth, and comfort, his presence so strong it leaves Jared breathless and yet feels so familiar, like it's always been part of Jared. It's like he isn't sure how he ever looked at Jensen and didn't know he wasn't human because it's so glaringly obvious to him now. It's more than that though — it's not just that he recognizes Jensen as fae, but that he recognizes him as something much more personal, much deeper, feels a connection to him that he can't put into words. It's like Jensen is woven into every part of him, suffusing him, and Jared might not know everything about him but it feels like he knows Jensen inside out nonetheless.

"Wow," he murmurs.

Jensen gives him a small smile. "So, different?" he asks. Jared can only nod.

Jensen leads him to the small, oak table in the kitchen and makes him sit down, before he prepares a tea for Jared and makes toast. "This will calm you down a little," he says as he sets a steaming mug down. He seems to hesitate for a moment, lingering by Jared's side, and then his hand smooths Jared's hair back gently. The touch almost makes Jared shiver.

"Is it bad?" he asks.

Jared thinks about that for a moment, then shakes his head. "It's… more," he says, picking his words carefully. "I don't feel different. I mean, I do but I still feel like _me_. You… you seem different. Kinda intense."

"You recognize me as a fae. You didn't really before," Jensen tells him. "Not like this anyway."

"Do I seem different to you?" Jared asks curiously. Jensen looks down at him, smiling softly.

"Yes and no. You still feel like you, only magnified," he says. "I always felt the bond to you, but you didn't feel like a fae to me. I can feel all your power now, though. You're strong."

Jared exhales loudly. "I don't feel like I am," he says and laughs softly. "I think I kinda just feel like I always assumed getting high feels like. Is there, I don't know, something I can actually _do_ now?"

"Not really. Not yet," Jensen says. "Think of it like this: babies are born with everything they need to speak, the right organs and everything. But they need to learn the language first, learn how to speak. It's like that. You have the powers in you, every fae does, but you need to learn how to use them."

"How long do you think it'll take me?"

"It'll take a while. I'll teach you as much as I can, and maybe you can meet with Danneel every now and then. She's brilliant," Jensen says. Then he steps back and grins. "Come on. Follow me. I want to show you something."

Jared gets up and Jensen leads him to the bathroom downstairs. "Take off your shirt," he says and pulls open the drawer under the sink, pushing hand towels aside, and gets out a handheld mirror.

"Why should I take off my shirt?" Jared asks, and resists the urge to cross his arms over his waist. Jensen smirks at him.

"Just do it. Trust me," he says. Jared sighs but pulls his shirt off.

"Back to the sink," Jensen instructs and Jared positions himself. Jensen sidles between Jared and the sink and Jared jumps a little when he feels a warm hand settle on his left shoulder, fingers curving over the top of it. He wants to ask Jensen what he is doing, but then the touch goes from warm to hot, spreading through his body.

"What," Jared startles.

Jensen moves away and hands Jared the mirror. "Look at your shoulder," he says. Jared lifts the mirror, looks at the reflection in the mirror above the sink, and gasps. There's a small glowing mark right at the top of his shoulder blade. It's different from Jensen's, fine lines that move outwards like a bursting firework.

"How'd you know it was there?" he asks softly, unable to take his eyes off it.

"It's passed on from mother to child. Everyone in your family on your mother's side has this on their shoulder," Jensen explains.

Jared lowers the mirror and puts it on the edge of the sink. He cranes his neck back once more, sees the glowing skin, and swallows. "Wow. This is insane."

"I think it's beautiful," Jensen replies softly and Jared turns back to him.

"I think I like yours better," he admits and then closes the short distance between them. He's not sure what makes him do it, but he ducks his head down and kisses Jensen. Jensen makes a startled noise, his hand coming up to Jared's shoulder, and for a few seconds, kissing Jensen feels absolutely right. Perfect.

And then a thought of Sandy flits through his mind and it feels like he's doused by a bucket of cold water, pulling him back into reality.

Jared pulls back, his eyes going wide. "Shit," he murmurs. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jensen. I can't do this. I shouldn't have."

Jensen's expression is soft, and Jared can see the hurt there, so he grabs his shirt and hastily leaves the bathroom.

~ ~

Having his fae powers unblocked doesn't change Jared's life as drastically as he thought it would. His senses are affected, but after a few days he feels like he's getting used to it. Jensen triggers the strongest reaction in him, but Jared supposes that was bound to happen due to the bond. There's a connection there and that's not new, but it feels different. The way he's been drawn to Jensen from day one used to bother him, but now it just feels right, like they're more in tune now, like _Jared_ is more in tune with the way Jensen gets to him.

Jensen walks him through a few things, and performs a few spells to make sure he stays concealed from Adrianne and her cronies, but Jared spends most of his Thanksgiving break doing a whole lot of nothing. Jensen doesn't bring the kiss up again, and Jared tries not to think about it either. It's not as awkward as Jared thought it would be; being close to Jensen makes him feel content, safe, the connection between them undeniable now. It's a little weird, but not uncomfortable and Jared finds himself not minding it.

Leaving Jensen's place after a few days is, perhaps, the strangest part, but mostly because of how not strange it is. Whereas Jensen's presence is intense in the most exquisite way now, other people don't feel much different. He feels like he can pick out their moods more easily, like he feels more in tune with them, but compared to Jensen they all feel oddly dull.

Which is why Jared is excited to get back to training with Jeff.

"Oh man," Jared says when he meets him and grins.

"Different, I assume?" Jeff asks, and Jared can only nod. Jeff's presence is different from Jensen's — calmer, steadier. It makes Jared think of sunlight, of the sunlight in his dreams, and compared to that Jensen is more like an explosion.

"Can you sense me, too?" Jared asks, curiously. "Jensen did some spells to conceal me."

"Only from fae that mean you harm. We're all using them to conceal ourselves from them; the spells aren't nearly as strong as the one you were under to block your powers, but they should do the trick," Jeff says, patting his shoulder. "You're… bubbly."

"Is that bad or good?" Jared asks.

"Good. Nice," Jeff says and claps his hand. "Now, let’s see if this affects your fighting skills, kid."

For a minute, Jared fears it'll affect him negatively, that he'll be distracted or overwhelmed by Jeff, but the opposite turns out to be the case. It's like he can anticipate Jeff's movements better, and his own are smoother, easier, and Jared finds himself enjoying his sessions with Jeff more than ever. He meets up with Jensen and Danneel sometimes too, and they teach him some things, techniques to get in touch with his powers and the world around him more easily, to sharpen his focus, and small spells. It seems a lot harder than the fight training ever did, though both Jensen and Danneel reassure him he's doing fine.

More and more often, Jared finds himself hanging out at Jensen's place even when they don't have a training session scheduled. Being around Jensen calms him down and fires him up at the same time, and Jared starts to realize how much he truly enjoys Jensen's company, talking and having food and walking barefoot through the backyard together while Jensen tells him tales from the fae realm.

Unfortunately, the pre-Christmas season also means exams. With everything going on, Jared has let his studies slide more than in previous semesters, and there are lot of late nights now and last minute cramming sessions.

He thinks he does all right, all things considered, but Jared feels like he could sleep for a month once his last exam is finally over.

~~

Two days before Jared leaves for home, he goes over to Sandy's bearing a sixpack of beer — Sandy's favorite brand. It's the first time they've been alone together since shortly before Thanksgiving.

Sandy gives him a small smile when he walks into her and Sophia's apartment.

"Sophia's out. I'll go get the ice cream and chocolate," she says, her voice breaking at the end. Jared shoulders slump and he nods.

They both know it's over.

"Well, at least we tried, right?" Sandy says with a wry smile, her eyes watery, as they sit on her bed and dig into the ice cream. And god, they did try — Jared tried so hard, not only to make it work between them but to make himself feel happy with her. He realizes that now. It was doomed from day one, because Jared rushed into it for all the wrong reasons. As much as he loves Sandy, he was dating her because he was trying to run away from Jensen, was trying hard to have something in his life that still made him feel normal. Something that was detached from his whole fae thing; but Jared is starting to realize that he can't live two separate lives. He can't be a normal, human guy who dates girls and a fae from another realm who has to prepare himself for an attempt on his life all at once. And now, with his powers unblocked, he knows which side has won out.

"I'm sorry trying wasn't enough," Jared says softly. He thinks is a little sad that they're apparently better at breaking up than being in a relationship.

~~

Jared feels detached from the festivities that year, utterly unexcited for the holidays.

It's nice to see his family again, though, and he hugs his parents extra tight when they get him from the airport. He was dreading this moment a little, but the second his mother wraps her arms around him all the worry and fears evaporate. These are his parents, and they're not even the same species as he is, but it doesn't make them any less his family, any less the people who raised him and taught him everything he knows.

However, Jared knows there's more to him now than the Texas boy from a suburban family. There's a whole different realm that he feels connected to, where he has roots even if he's never been there outside of his dreams.

He's helping his mother with dinner one afternoon when he asks her about his parents. "Was there really nothing? Not even a single clue?" he prods.

His mother gives him a sad smile. "We don't know anything about them, sweetheart. We told you how you just turned up on our doorstep, a cute little bundle."

"Yeah, but you went through all the official channels afterward. Adopting me and stuff, and the police were involved, right? Wasn't there ever anything, I don't know, weird?"

"Weird?" his mother repeats and frowns.

Jared shrugs, not sure how to explain it without sounding like he's crazy.

"You just turned up, out of thin air," his mother says and smiles, cupping Jared's cheek. "Our little miracle."

"I love you, mama," Jared says.

"I love you too, baby," his mother says and tugs him down to kiss his forehead.

~~

A package arrives for Jared, wrapped in dark green wrapping paper, a couple of days before Christmas. Sherri insists that they put it under the tree with the rest of the gifts, and when Jared opens it on Christmas morning he knows it's from Jensen before he even pulls the box open.

There's a blanket inside that feels softer than anything Jared has ever touched. It's a beautiful silvery blue with silver stitching lining it. Sigils for protection that Jared recognizes by now.

"Oh, that's exquisite," Sherri says. "Who is it from?"

"A friend," Jared replies.

Sherri reaches out and runs her hand over the fabric. "You know, it's odd, but it reminds me a little of the blanket you were wrapped up in the day we found you," she says softly, tone thoughtful.

"Can we go back to the fact that Jared's friend gave him a blanket for Christmas?" Jeff interjects with a snort, and Jared shoots his brother a glare.

"It's a lovely present, Jeff," Sherri admonishes and then turns to look at Jared again. "Right, sweetheart?"

"It's a bit weird," Megan chimes in.

"It's not. I saw it in a store and liked it, and he must have remembered," Jared lies, tugging the blanket a little closer. It's like he can almost feel Jensen's presence lingering on it, comforting him.

~ ~

Jared goes back to California before New Year's. Chad and he throw a little New Year's bash at their apartment and Jared wants to invite Jensen and Jeff, but he knows it would probably be weird. None of his friends know them and they probably wouldn't fit in and enjoy themselves with a bunch of college kids anyway. Jared wishes they could be there though; Jensen and Jeff are as much a part of his life in California as his friends from college, maybe even more so.

He texts Jeff right after midnight, more than a little tipsy already, and the message comes out more cheesy than he intended. But the alcohol is making him loose and a little sentimental, and it feels important that Jeff knows how much Jared appreciates him and how important he is to him.

Then he hides in his room and calls Jensen, lying down on his bed as the phone rings.

"Jared? Is something wrong?" Jensen asks when he picks up, worry clear in his voice. Jared snorts.

"Just wanted to say Happy New Year," he says and pauses. "I don't even know if fae celebrate New Year's, but, well… "

Jensen laughs. "Happy New Year, Jared," he replies. "I'm assuming you're having a fun night?"

"Chad made me do shots," Jared says. Jensen's blanket is lying neatly folded next to him and Jared shifts to rest his cheek on top of it.

"You know, I don't know what to think about Chad. Whenever you talk about him the guy sounds a little weird."

"Says the fae with the magical powers," Jared replies and yawns. "Jensen? Have I told you yet how much I love the blanket?"

"Yes," Jensen says. "You texted me on Christmas and called me the next day, too."

Jared smiles. "It was my favorite present this year. Nothing else even came close."

"Good," Jensen murmurs in reply, and Jared feels a deep, hot rush of arousal at the gravely, soft voice, heat settling deep in his stomach. Jared is drunk enough that he can admit that he wishes Jensen was there with him in this moment, that Jared could feel his familiar presence and let the whole slew of feelings that come with being close to him wash over him. He isn't drunk enough to admit those things to Jensen, though.

"I should go," he whispers instead. They say goodbye, and Jared stays where he is.

~~

Two days later, Jared is walking through the forest in his dreams. The leaves are rustling, the noises like soft wind chimes, the ground springy and soft under his bare feet. He knows Jensen is there behind him before he even turns around.

Jensen is just a foot or so away when he does, smiling at Jared, and the sight takes Jared's breath away. He's dressed in dark jeans and a white t-shirt, feet bare like Jared's, his hair looking soft and his smile sweet.

"Hey," Jared says and his voice comes out quiet, gentle.

Jensen closes the distance and, without preamble, he cups Jared's neck and pulls him into a kiss. His lips are soft, but the kiss is anything but. It's almost desperate, like it's something that they've both been waiting for their entire lives and Jared suddenly feels like he has.

Soon he finds himself backed up against a tree, Jensen's body pressing against him. Jensen's kisses are just like him, strong and wild and almost overpowering, and Jared tries to give as good as he gets, moaning into Jensen's mouth.

One of Jensen's legs nudges between his, his hip pushing against Jared's dick. Helplessly, Jared ruts against him, tries to get more friction. He's blindingly hard, need burning deep in his belly. It's not just his dick though; his whole body feels like it's on fire, tingling, and his moans mingle with the sound of the windchimes.

He wakes up panting, his cock hard and damp, his body covered in a film of sweat, making him feel sticky and wet in all kinds of places in a way that he's never experienced before. For a moment, he feels torn between disappointment and shock, but then the anger slowly seeps in, becomes all consuming within minutes.

Jared gets up, ignoring his erection, and gets dressed hastily. It's early, the sun just beginning to rise outside. Jared grabs the keys to Chad's car from the dresser in the hallway.

He has the combination for the gate and he has a key for the house too, but he chooses to stand outside and knock his fist against the door, while his other presses the doorbell again and again.

Jensen looks sleep-rumpled and yet appears alarmed when he opens the door, dressed in nothing but a thin pair of sleeping pants.

"Jared?" he asks, and Jared pushes inside, knocking into Jensen on purpose.

"How dare you?" he exclaims and Jensen frowns up at him.

"How dare I what?" he asks. "Jared, what's going on? What happened?"

"You know what happened!" Jared yells and pushes Jensen for good measure. Jensen looks surprised, but he barely budges and that only makes Jared feel angrier. "I trusted you! How could you do that? How could you get into my dream and… and… "

He feels tears burning in his eyes and flinches when Jensen lays a hand on his arm. "Jared? I wasn't in your dream," he says softly. "I haven't been in _months_. I only ever did that to find you."

"But. Tonight, you… " Jared starts.

"I wasn't in your dream. Whatever happened, it wasn't me, it wasn't real. Unblocking your powers has probably made your dreams change, too. We dream just like humans do," Jensen says gently. "What was the dream about? What did I do, Jared?"

Jared sucks in a shuddering breath, confused, not sure what to do with the anger he still feels.

"Jared," Jensen prompts. So Jared kisses him. Kisses him like they kissed in his dream, deep and dirty and desperate.

Until a hand on his chest pushes him back firmly.

"This is a bad idea," Jensen says, looking sad.

"But," Jared says, wanting to protest, but Jensen shakes his head.

"I'm sorry. Go home, Jared, get some more sleep." He puts a hand on Jared's back and steers him towards the door. "Come on. Go home now, sweetheart."

Jared feels as if he's in a stupor, and he lets himself be lead outside. Back in Chad's car, he sits and wonders what happened; the door to the house is already shut again.

~~

Jensen calls the very next day and tells Jared he is going to have to leave for a while, and that he doesn't know when he'll be back. It's a very short, very terse conversation, Jensen not saying a word more than he has to.

Jared holes himself up in his room afterward, feeling rejected and utterly mortified by what happened. By the way Jensen just pushed him away and told him to go home. He remembers Jensen's insistence that, no matter what the bond might make him feel, it can't actually make anyone fall in love. He'd sounded so convinced that it happens naturally, though, and apparently that's a lot of bullshit because it didn't happen for Jensen because he didn't want the kiss. After everything he said about it, Jensen didn't want him.

As the days pass, Jared starts to feel more and more upset with Jensen. Jensen with his stupid betrothal crap. Jensen, who burst into his life and got right under Jared's skin, made him feel things, only to reject him and send him home like a little kid. Jensen, who apparently doesn't really want him after all and didn't bother to mention that before he made Jared fall for him. And oh god, Jared is _in love_ with the bastard.

Jared wants nothing more than to say screw everything, cut his ties and be done with this whole fae bullshit. He wants to forget everything. Most of all, he wants to take Jensen's stupid blanket and burn it, except that burying his face in it at night is the only thing making him feel a little less like he's dying on the inside.

~~

A heatwave passes over California, sudden and unbearable.

It's all everyone seems to be able to talk about anymore. As classes start up again, even Jared's professors seem unable to focus on anything but how goddamn hot it is. Everyone walks around in their skimpiest, lightest clothing, and tries to stay inside as much as they can.

"Stupid fucking global warming," Chad groans. "I've been saying it for years."

"Uh-uh, right," Jared mutters sarcastically. He's started wearing his hair up in a bun, because it's that or chopping it all off, and he hasn't worn a shirt inside the apartment in days.

At least, the heatwave provides Jared with a good reason to cancel his fight training with Jeff, even though Jeff doesn't sound very happy about it when Jared calls. Just talking to him dredges up memories of Jensen though, and a new wave of anger rolls through Jared. And then he remembers the garden. Jensen's beautiful garden with the flowers and plants, and Jensen isn't there to take care of them.

As much as Jared hates Jensen at that moment, he can't let the backyard go to waste like that. It's the closest thing he's ever seen to his dreams and the thought of it all withering and dying almost physically pains him.

He borrows Chad's car again, because Chad isn't going to leave the apartment and the A/C there until the heatwave passes anyway, and drives to Jensen's. He lets himself in with the key Jensen gave him and can't help but wonder how long it'll be before Jensen will ask to get it back.

Hastily, Jared crosses through the house and pulls the large glass doors to the patio open, telling himself he'll leave as quickly as he came. He doesn't really want to be at Jensen's house any longer than he has to.

In the yard, the flowers look better than he expected. A little withered, but not yet dying. Jared waters everything, paying special attention to the roses and love-lies-bleeding, which seem to be suffering the most. He comes back every few days after that, checks up on the flowers, and watches in fascination as they prosper and blossom despite the heat as he continues to water them.

And despite the fact that everything there reminds him of Jensen, sitting in the backyard and breathing in the clean smell of wildflowers makes him feel truly calm for the first time in days.

~ ~

Jeff calls Jared often enough that, after a week, Jared gives in and agrees to meet him despite the fact that the heatwave is still going strong.

They run through some simple things first, and Jared struggles more than usual, and eventually Jeff stops and has Jared do some breathing and meditating exercises for a good forty-five minutes.

"Feeling better?" he asks after that, looking at Jared seriously.

"'s the stupid heatwave," Jared replies and shrugs.

"Have you ever heard the phrase 'bright hot anger'?" Jeff asks, sitting down cross-legged in front of Jared.

"Sure. Why?"

"Because I can feel it coming off you in waves. _Not_ just the anger, though, your magic too, Jared. You're projecting quite strongly," Jeff tells him gently. "You're untrained, I guess you can't keep your powers and your feelings apart just yet. But you need to stop, calm down."

"What are you talking about?" Jared asks.

"The heat, Jared," Jeff stresses.

Jared is confused for a moment, not sure what Jeff is getting at, and then he gapes at him. "Are you saying that it's me?" he asks. "That's crazy!"

Jeff smiles patiently.

"But… no way," Jared says, shaking his head. He can't believe Jeff is actually serious, that he thinks this whole messed up weather is on him. But then again, Jared's anger has certainly felt powerful enough. Burning hot. "Shit."

"Yeah, shit. Young, untrained fae's magic can go a bit berserk when their emotions get the better of them. It's usually not a big deal, because there are other fae around to keep a handle on things," Jeff explains. "Obviously, there's nobody around to do that for you, so you need to do it yourself. And fast."

"Can't you do something?"

"I wish I could, because I'm not exactly enjoying this heat either, but I can't. You're not a toddler for one, so your magic isn't that of a toddler either even though you're untrained. It's not that easy to restrain a grown-up's magic," Jeff tells him. "And you're strong on top of that, Jared; Jensen told you you would be."

"So I'm causing this heatwave?"

"You need to let go of whatever anger you're holding, or get a grip on it at least," Jeff advises.

"It's not that easy," Jared mutters.

"Why not?" Jeff asks. "Talk to me, tell me what's going on. Maybe we can work through it, huh?"

"I kissed Jensen," Jared admits softly, and feels a wave of rejection washing over him just thinking about it again.

"He told me about it. A couple of months ago. What does that have to do with your anger now?"

"No," Jared says and snorts. "I kissed him _again_. And he pushed me away and told me to go home. The next day he was gone."

"And you think he left because of the kiss," Jeff concludes. Jared shrugs. "Jared, that's not true. He left because he got some information about Adrianne's whereabouts. He's just trying to get to her before she can get anywhere near you."

"Why'd he push me away though? I thought it's what he wanted. He told me all this crap about the bond and now… he doesn't want me after all," Jared says, anger boiling again.

"Jensen cares about you a lot and the bond is as strong as ever. He loves you, but a bond doesn't mean you can't make choices. You want to hear my best guess?" Jeff asks. "Jensen is choosing to protect himself."

"From me?" Jared asks, surprised.

"Well, you're the one who's been telling him you're into girls and that you and he will never happen. And you have a girlfriend."

Jared shifts uncomfortably on the ground and shrugs. "We broke up, actually."

Jeff gives him an exasperated look. "Does he know that?"

Jared shakes his head.

"Maybe you should talk to him. He doesn't want to get his heart broken. And don't tell him I told you this, but he's told me he's scared maybe you're right about some things, about the choices fae who are betrothed can make about our relationships… after you kissed him that first time, well, he started having doubts," Jeff confides in him, keeping his voice soft. "He told me the fact that you didn't want him and then kissed him right after your magic was unblocked made him worry that it really wasn't your choice. That, deep down, you didn't really want to but that the bond was making you feel things."

"That's not… " Jared starts, and sighs, feeling more and more foolish and frustrated with himself the more Jeff tells him. "I might have thought about it before. About kissing him."

"Well, maybe that's another thing he needs to know, don't you think?" Jeff asks and gives him a small grin.

"It's confusing. This whole thing… I've only ever been interested in girls. I always thought I was straight, and suddenly there's this guy telling me we're meant to be together. And I just… maybe I do want that, but does that mean I'm gay? Bi?"

Jeff laughs."Jared. I've lived among humans for several decades and I still don't fully understand them, but the way I see it sexuality is made out to be a lot more complicated here than it should be. You grew up in a society that told you you should be straight, that anything else wasn't normal. Most of you grow up not even considering you might be anything but straight, so it must come as a shock when you realize you're aren't," he tells him. "And the other thing I know is that you're nineteen. It's okay to be confused and not have stuff like that figured out yet. I'm sure suddenly questioning your sexuality like that must throw you for a loop and that's okay."

"What about the bond?" Jared asks. "Jensen said that it can't actually make us fall in love."

"So? Isn't that a good thing? It was something you worried about after all."

"Jensen doesn't have to be in love with me either," Jared says with an uneasy shrug.

"That's what you're worried about?" Jeff asks with a grin. Jared flushes, and Jeff pats his arm. "Jensen has always been determined to find you and keep you safe. But since he met you, his life stopped revolving around anything but you. He would lay the world down at your feet if you asked him to. Now I don't know about you, but that sounds like love to me."

Jared ducks his head, a pleased flush covering his cheeks. "Yeah. Maybe," he agrees.

~~

Jared spends a lot of time at Jensen's place. He waters the flowers but then, most days, he ends up staying there for a little while longer. At first he just walks around the backyard, but eventually he ventures inside. He gets a glass of water, plays around on the piano even though he doesn't know how to, and naps on the couch.

The heatwave vanishes as suddenly as it came and the flowers don't need to be watered after that, but Jared checks up on them anyway. More and more, he hangs out in Jensen's living room; he brings books to read and notes to study, buys some groceries so he has some snacks around. He doesn't realize how late it's gotten one day so he spends the night on the couch, and then another, and another.

When Jared is at the apartment, Chad asks him where the hell he is all the time, wanting to know what's going on, and Jared doesn't know how to explain it.

"I'm worried, man," Chad tells him one day and Jared packs a few changes of clothes into his backpack.

"Don't, Chad. Everything's fine," Jared assures him and then shrugs. "Maybe better than fine."

Chad pauses for a moment. "Are you seeing someone new?" he asks, surprised.

And, just to get him off his back, Jared says yes. Maybe, he thinks, not yet, but maybe soon.

~~

Jared is making himself dinner when Jensen returns. He comes in through the backyard, and Jared feels him before he even enters the house. Jensen must sense him too, because he comes straight into the kitchen where Jared is just pulling a pot of mac and cheese off the stove.

"What are you doing here?" Jensen asks.

Jared turns around, ready to come back with some smartass comment, when sees that Jensen is hurt. There's a small gash on his temple, the blood around it smeared and dried and one of his hands is pressed against his ribs. He looks tired, grimy, and Jared's stomach twists.

"What happened to you?" he asks, food forgotten as he walks over to Jensen's side.

Jensen shrugs with one shoulder. "Nothing. I'm okay."

"You're not," Jared insists and carefully takes Jensen by the elbow. He leads him back into the living room and makes him sit on the couch, among the pillows and blankets he's been using at night.

"You stay here," he says and goes to get a first aid box from the bathroom. He has to look around a little until he finds it, worry churning in his stomach, and he grabs a towel and wets one side of it before rushing back to Jensen's side.

Jensen stays still and quiet as Jared cleans out the wound, disinfects it carefully, and puts a butterfly bandaid over it. The wound isn't bad, but Jared's hands are still shaking a little, something inside him coming alive and panicking because _Jensen is hurt._

"There," he murmurs, trying to stay calm, and carefully brushes Jensen's short hair back. "Maybe I should take you to a hospital. Would that be better? I think that'd be better."

"No," Jensen says, firm but amused. "I'm okay."

Jared takes a deep breath, willing himself to relax, and nods. "What happened?"

"I found Adrianne. She got away, unfortunately, but I'm having her tracked," Jensen says and Jared frowns.

"She hurt you," he says. Jensen shrugs.

"It's nothing," he says. "So. You slept here, huh?"

Jared ignores the question and tugs at Jensen's t-shirt. "Let me see your ribs, too."

"You know, from what I know about the human education system, being a sophomore in college means you probably don't have a medical degree," Jensen quips.

"Let me see your ribs, Jensen," Jared repeats. Jensen gives him a look, but he sighs and carefully shrugs off his jacket. Jared helps him pull off his t-shirt and if it makes his hands a little clammy and his belly swoop, he can ignore that for the moment.

There's a bruise on Jensen's side, blue and purple, looking viscous and painful.

"Jesus, Jensen," Jared hisses, all thoughts of shirts and nakedness forgotten.

"It's okay. We heal a lot faster than humans. Magic, remember?"

"It still looks bad," Jared admits, and carefully brushes his fingers over the abused skin. Jensen doesn't even flinch, but Jared goes to get some ice anyway. He presses it gently against the bruise when he gets back, eyes fixed on Jensen's rib cage.

"Don't ever do that again," he says quietly.

"What? Get hurt?"

" _Yes_."

"Jared. I'm trying to protect you. Us," Jensen says softly and puts a hand under Jared's chin, lifting his head up. "This is nothing. Just a few scratches, really. You don't need to worry about me."

"So what? You go out there and risk your life and I just sit here, like some damsel in distress?" Jared asks, his bottom lip quivering a little even as he tries to keep it under control. He feels all over the place suddenly, feels a fierce protectiveness over Jensen that shakes him to the core. "That's not fair."

"You're untrained."

"I'm sick of being untrained," Jared snaps and regrets his tone instantly.

Jensen looks at him, understanding and gentle. "Well, you have nineteen years of fae knowledge to catch up on. I'm sorry, I can imagine how frustrating this must be for you, but it wouldn't be safe for you," he says. "And I refuse to let you go anywhere or do anything that's not safe."

"It's not safe for you either."

Jensen smiles, "You don't have to worry about me," he repeats. "I'm strong. Stronger than Adrianne."

"Well, I do worry. I can't help it," Jared says stubbornly. Jensen sighs.

"Jared," he starts.

"I broke up with Sandy," Jared interjects, and it's maybe a little off topic, but he needs Jensen to know that. Needs him to know that he is completely available before they continue talking about anything even remotely related to his feelings, because he feels like it's all going to bubble over any minute now.

"Oh, Jared."

"I talked to Jeff. I have… it's not just that you unblocked my magic, Jensen. That's not why I kissed you. I was kinda thinking about it a little before, too," Jared continues.

"You were?"

"Well, I was trying not to. But yeah," Jared admits and grimaces.

"Thought you were _straight_ ," Jensen teases softly, but there's a vulnerability that Jared isn't used to.

"Well, according to you guys the whole concept of heterosexuality and homosexuality don't really exist when you're fae. And, well, I'm nineteen, so I'm allowed to suddenly have a sexuality crisis."

"Crisis, huh? That doesn't exactly sound like a good thing."

Jared kisses Jensen instead of replying, brushing their lips together softly, again and again, waiting, _praying_ for Jensen to return the kiss. And then he does. His hand comes to rest on Jared's waist, thumb stroking over clothed skin and Jared moans softly against his lips despite how chaste the whole thing is.

It's different from any other kisses Jared has ever experienced, much more intense and yet calming at the same time. His heart is beating fast, and not just with nerves, but there's a thrill he feels, his stomach fluttering and heat in his belly. It's more intense than any other kiss he's shared before. Jensen's stubble brushes against his chin and the soft noise he makes is deeper than a girl's, but to his surprise it only excites Jared.

They break after a few, long moments, and Jensen looks at him with a small smile. "Jared?" he asks.

"Okay, it's not a crisis," Jared says, shaking his head. "An epiphany. A _revelation_."

Jensen laughs and kisses Jared again, pulling him on closer with both hands.

"Your ribs," Jared mumbles, trying to pull back a little.

"They're fine. Kissing makes them feel better."

"Bullshit," Jared snorts.

Jensen grins, nuzzles his nose against Jared's. "It's a fae thing."

" _Bullshit_ ," Jared repeats firmly, and Jensen grins.

"Just come here and let me kiss you, sweetheart," he coaxes. His tugs at Jared's shirt and Jared goes with it.


	4. Chapter 4

~~

Jared wakes up in Jensen's bed the next morning. Jensen is on his back, with Jared on his side curled up against him, leg slung over Jensen's. He's nice and warm and comfy, rested in a way he hasn't been in weeks.

For a few minutes, he just lies there and soaks it all in. Being in Jensen's arms makes him feel a peacefulness he's never known before and it makes Jared's heart beat faster knowing that this is his forever. That he'll always get to have this. He'll always have Jensen.

Jensen's shirt is riding up, and after a while Jared carefully pushes it up a little higher to reveal the bruise. It's already fading, greenish yellow now instead of purple. Jared traces his finger over the skin around it and Jensen's breath hitches, eyes fluttering open.

"Wha' you doing?" he slurs.

"Making sure you're healing," Jared murmurs. He scoots down a little, ducks his head down and lets his lips brush against Jensen's skin.

Jensen turns into him onto his side, and pulls Jared up with a sleepily smile. "What's the verdict, Doctor Padalecki?"

"You need to take it easy. No fighting for… however long fae live," Jared states.

"A pretty long time. A few centuries, or even older."

Jared's kind of already known that, but having it spelled out like that makes him takes a deep breath. "That's really damn long," he says.

Jensen gently takes Jared's chin between his thumb and forefinger and kisses him, mumbles, "Yeah."

They start out slow. Last night, they hadn't done more than kiss, falling asleep cuddled together. All of this, kissing and touching another man, still feels new to Jared, a little nerve-wracking but in a good way. The body pressed against his is neither small nor curvy, but Jared finds himself enjoying that Jensen is all hard muscles and strength. And he more than likes it when Jensen starts taking the lead, resting his hand on the back of Jared's head and changing the angle as he kisses him deeper. Their tongues slide together, and Jensen swallows the breathy moans Jared makes as he nudges his leg between Jared's.

Jared is getting hard, his dick filling in his shorts, and he feels arousal burn in his belly. He shifts, trying to get more friction, and whines when Jensen slows the kisses down, pulls back with a few last pecks.

A thought occurs to him then, that he has no idea about traditions and rules when it comes to these kind of things for fae. "Jensen," he mumbles.

"What?" Jensen asks and leans forward, kissing Jared's cheek and the bridge of his nose.

"Uh, can we," he starts and swallows thickly. "I mean, are there rules for the whole marriage thing? You know, traditions we have to follow and stuff."

"What are you talking about?" Jensen asks, rubbing a thumb over Jared's cheekbone.

"I mean… Are we allowed to," Jared starts and rolls his lower lip between his teeth. "You know. Do it."

"Are you asking if we're allowed to have sex before we get married?"

"Well, are we?" Jared mumbles, and Jensen grins.

"If we want to, sure," he says and pulls Jared closer, kissing him again. "We can do whatever you want, sweetheart. There are no rules here, okay? Just what we want."

Jared nods, butterflies in his stomach, and starts tugging at Jensen's shirt. "I want to," he murmurs, feeling nervous and excited all at once.

"Really? Now?" Jensen asks, pulling back to look at Jared. "Don't you want to take things slow? Wait a little longer?"

"Not really, no," Jared replies and slides his hand up under Jensen's shirt, smoothing over warm skin. He brushes his lips against Jensen's, and when Jensen responds he deepens the kiss. Jared doesn't think he's ever going to get enough of this; Jensen's kisses are sweet and intense all at once, making Jared's heart race. He keeps his hand on Jensen's waist, feels the heat of naked skin under his palm.

He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he figures Jensen does and that he's safe with him. Except Jensen isn't making a move to take charge, to take things further, despite Jared's encouragement.

A little frustrated, Jared breaks the kiss and pushes Jensen onto his back. He moves to straddle him and pulls his shirt off, eager to move them along.

"Are you really sure?" Jensen asks once more, and Jared isn't sure whether to be annoyed or touched by Jensen's concern. "I know you're not a virgin, but you've never been with a guy, Jared. It's kinda different."

"No! I had no idea!" Jared exclaims with fake shock and stares at Jensen with wide eyes.

Jensen laughs softly. "Idiot," he says. "I'm trying to be serious here."

"Me too. I'm not a shy little virgin you have to worry about. I like sex, _love_ sex, and I want to have it with you," Jared replies and wiggles his hips a little. He can feel the bulge of Jensen's dick pressed against his ass and that's a _little_ weird, but not in an entirely _bad_ way. Jared's stomach tightens with nervous excitement and he pushes back a little more, lips parting around a silent moan when Jensen rocks his hips up.

"You're making this really hard for me," Jensen groans. Jared licks his lips, looking down at Jensen in what he's hoping comes off more seductive than laughable.

"That's the plan," he says. He bends down, arms on either side of Jensen's face, and kisses him hard and deep. He goes right for it, plunging his tongue between Jensen's parted lips and sliding it against Jensen's. Jensen makes a strangled noise and his hands drag up Jared's legs up to his ass. He grabs the two cheeks, squeezing softly, _kneading_ , and Jared moans, the touch — the implications behind it — enough to make blood rush south, his cock growing hard. He feels hot, skin burning, and sweat is starting to form. 

Jared hasn't _really_ thought about this, not about the logistics of sex between him and Jensen anyway, about who'll do what, but he has a moment of clarity then where he realizes how much he wants it to happen like this. Wants Jensen to be in charge, to show him what it can be like between two men, two _fae_.

He tugs at the hem of Jensen's shirt impatiently and Jensen pushes him away and helps him strip it off. They're down to their boxer briefs now, just two thin layers of cloth between them, and Jared's stomach swoops.

"Jensen," Jared murmurs, blushing as he tries to find the right words. "Can you- I want… I want you inside me."

Jensen slips a couple of fingers under the hem of Jared's boxer briefs and strokes the skin there. "Yeah? We can do it the other way around if you prefer, sweetheart."

Jared shakes his head, hair falling into his face. "No," he says and chews on his bottom lip nervously. The smile he gets from Jensen, all gentle and fond, is enough to make him relax a little. Jensen pulls him down to him, kisses him, and then smoothly rolls them around so he's on top. He kisses a path down Jared's neck, the column of his throat, hands slowly mapping out Jared's body.

"Gonna make this so good for you, baby," Jensen murmurs, and moves lower. He runs his tongue over Jared's left nipple, sucks it between his lips, a spark of pleasure shooting down Jared's spine, and his hand comes up to play with the other, rubbing his thumb over it until Jared is making soft, breathy noises.

"Jensen, please. _Jensen_ ," he pleads, not sure what he's asking for, except heat is pooling low in his stomach already, like he's ready to blow and they haven't even done anything yet. It's _insane_ and Jared would probably feel a little embarrassed if he didn't feel so freaking amazing.

"Shhh," Jensen murmurs. He scoots down, presses a trail of kisses down Jared's stomach, and Jared feels the muscles quiver under his touch. His cock is pressed against Jensen's shoulder, the cotton wet, and Jared hitches his hips up, screws his eyes shut.

"Not yet," Jensen says softly and nuzzles Jared's belly. He pulls back and with sure fingers he tugs at the waistband of Jared's boxers. Jared lifts his hips, lets Jensen peel them off him; it's a little awkward, his fabric tangling around his legs, but Jensen smiles down at him and helps him get the underwear off.

And then Jared is completely naked in front of another guy, a guy that's his betrothed, a guy that Jared is completely head over heels for.

His legs are open, thighs splayed around Jensen's knees, and he knows Jensen can see everything. He feels weirdly vulnerable, exposed in a way he's never felt with a girl, yet he feels safe with Jensen, knows Jensen is going to take care of him.

"Are you okay?" Jensen asks, hand stroking Jared's thigh. Jared flushes and nods his head.

"Yeah. I just- Can I see you, too?" he says. Jensen smirks and shifts to take his own boxer-briefs off as well. He slides them down his legs gracefully, pulls them off, and tosses them aside, and then he remains sitting back between Jared's legs, like he's trying to give Jared a moment to look.

"Still want to?" he asks and Jared can tell he's only half kidding. Jared swallows thickly and nods, his gaze lingering on Jensen's cock. It's big and thick, nestled in light brown curls. He's hard, dick curved up, his balls heavy. This is the part where he should probably start to get nervous, but all Jared feels is a burning want.

Jensen cups Jared's hip with one hand, thumb running small circles over his hipbones, and rests the other on Jared's neck as he leans down and kisses him softly. The new position makes their dicks press together between them and Jared's hips shoot up.

"Jesus," he hisses, and Jensen snickers.

"Relax," he murmurs. "Slow, okay?"

He brushes their lips together, a brief touch as if to underline his words, and Jared whimpers into his mouth. Jensen shushes him again and rolls his hips, rutting against Jared almost languidly. Jared's moans and gasps are swallowed by his mouth, the kiss lazy but deep, and Jared can't remember ever having felt this kind of need for another person. He's never thought he could want to have a guy inside of him so badly, but he does.

He almost cries in relief when Jensen shifts them a little onto their sides and slides one hand behind Jared. He rubs his fingers over the small of Jared's back first before he slowly pushes one between Jared's cheeks. His finger passes over his hole, once, twice, and Jared is rocking his hips back. He feels a little damp there, sweaty, and he'd be embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact that Jensen's finger moves down his crack so easily, pleasure sparking in Jared.

"Jen. Jensen," he pleads and is rewarded by Jensen slowly pressing the tip of a finger in. Jared expects it to hurt, or maybe feel uncomfortable, and it's a little strange, but not bad. Not bad at all. He hitches his leg up on Jensen's hip almost on autopilot, trying to give Jensen better access, and moans when Jensen slides in deeper, moves his fingers in and out with small thrusts.

"Jensen. Oh god, Jensen, wait," Jared gasps, his hips pushing back, seeking more. "Lube. Don't we need lube?"

Jensen laughs and kisses the corner of his mouth, his breath hot and damp against Jared's skin. "Does it feel like we do, baby?" he asks in a murmur, and Jared's stomach flips.

"Wha — ?" he garbles. Jensen laughs again and nuzzles his cheek.

"Fae, sweetheart," he says, and Jared realizes that Jensen's finger is moving in and out of him so easily because it's actually wet. Or _he_ is wet and it can't be sweat like he thought, because it's way too much, too slick.

"Am I?" he asks, breathless. Jensen sucks kisses onto his jaw and hums, and Jared feels a second finger nudge against his entrance, just an insistent pressure for now.

"Yeah. You are," he says. "You're all wet for me. Feel that?"

"Oh my god," Jared pants, and he's not sure why it turns him on so much but it does. Jensen slides a second finger in smoothly, not giving Jared a chance to catch his breath before he fucks them in and out. Jared's whole world narrows down to the feeling of Jensen inside of him, incredible and yet not nearly enough. Sex, even the most mind-blowing sex, has never felt like this before — has never made Jared feel so desperate and needy and dizzy with arousal.

He doesn't even realize he's babbling, begging Jensen for _more_ and _please_ and _now_ until Jensen shushes him with a kiss. The third finger burns a little, but it's not a bad feeling; Jared feels the stretch, his muscles tightening around Jensen's fingers before they relax, adjust. He can feel how wet he is now, slickness smeared between his cheeks and the top of his thighs, and his cock is so hard Jared doubts he's going to last much longer. And then Jensen crooks his fingers a little, pressing against what Jared knows must be his prostate, and he has to bite back a cry, body shuddering.

"Stop. Stop, Jensen," he mumbles, pushing at Jensen's chest. "Don't want to come until… god, not until you're _inside_ me. Please."

Jensen kisses his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. "Shhh, okay," he croons, the movements of his fingers slowing down, pushing in and out a few more times almost lazily, before he pulls out.

Jensen carefully guides him back onto his back. "You can stop me any time," he says gently, settling between Jared's legs. "But I have ask one last time: you sure you don't want to wait?"

"I will _kill_ you if you don't _fuck_ me right now," Jared replies, and if it comes out a little needy then screw it. Jared feels needy in that moment, hot with arousal and desperation. Jensen grins down at him and leans over, pulling open the drawer of the nightstand and pulling out a bottle of lube.

"We'll use a little since it's your first time with a guy and all that," he explains. He pops it open and Jared watches as he slicks his cock up, anticipation coursing through his body. No condom, he notes fuzzily, but doesn't ask, knowing that if they needed one Jensen would use one.

He's ready for this, and yet when Jensen pulls his legs up and over his shoulders, Jared has to take a deep breath to relax. The tip of Jensen's cock nudges against his hole, and Jensen looks down at him as he presses forward. For a few moments, Jared just feels pressure, his body tensing a little, and then Jensen breaches him. It hurts a little and Jared swears he hears his own heart hammering like crazy in his chest, his hands clenching in the sheets.

"Relax," Jensen murmurs, kisses him softly as he slides in deeper, inch by inch. Jared feels weirdly full, feels a slight burn, but it's not nearly as bad as he thought it would be; instead it feels _right_. Overwhelmingly right. He's not sure if it's the bond or just them, but nothing has ever felt like this before.

"Jensen," he pants, blinking. Jensen nuzzles his cheek, makes a soft humming noise that Jared knows is comfort and understanding and love all at once. He stops for a few moments, lets Jared adjust, and Jared brings one hand up, grips Jensen's biceps. He feels his body relax around Jensen, feels calmer as he tries to match his own ragged breathing to Jensen's.

"Okay," he says softly. Jensen turns his head, kisses the corner of his mouth, and pulls out a little before thrusting back in. He does so with small rolls of his hips at first, his cock buried deep inside of Jared, and it's like he knows exactly when the last of the burn has faded. Only then does he pull out further and slam back into Jared, drawing a startled moan from him.

Neither of them lasts long. Jensen fucks him with long, deep thrusts, his cock dragging against Jared's prostate, and Jared doesn't even need to touch himself. The feeling of Jensen inside of him, stretching him and filling him and taking pleasure from him, is enough. He comes hard, crying out Jensen's name. Jensen shifts them a little, changes the angle, and keeps fucking into Jared, making Jared shudder and gasp through the aftershocks, his muscles trembling. He feels it when Jensen comes, wet heat spreading inside of him.

They lie in a tangled heap for a while, hearts slowing down, bodies cooling and lax from pleasure. Jensen is a little too heavy, but his softening dick is still lodged inside of Jared and it feels too good for Jared to ask him to move. He lies still, enjoying the quiet, the calm, and tries to match his breathing to Jensen's. One of his hands is wrapped loosely around Jensen's wrist and he thumbs the leather bracelet there, feels the little silver leaf dig into his skin as he presses down a little.

It's only in that moment that it really clicks with him. This is it. Jensen is it for him. Forever.

~~

Jared isn't sure why, but he basically sneaks into his apartment on Sunday afternoon, trying not to alert Chad to his return.

If he could have, he would have stayed with Jensen even longer. But he has classes early the next morning and some reading he needs to get done, and now that Jensen is back Jared feels like he no longer has a reason to hide out at his house.

He drops his backpack onto his bed and starts pulling the laundry that has accumulated over the last few days from it when Chad says, "So, you're back."

Jared startles and turns around, feeling guilty and embarrassed for no reason except that he's been having wonderful, dirty sex with his betrothed for the last couple of days.

"Chad. Hi."

"Hey," Chad says and ambles into the room. "You've been gone for a few days, man."

"Yeah. Uh, you know… " Jared says, not really sure what Chad is supposed to know.

"Your new girl," Chad concludes.

Jared flushes, cheeks hot, and nods.

Chad looks at him. "She doesn't happen to wear a leather jacket and drive a motorcycle, does she? And look pretty damn male?"

"Wh — what?" Jared stutters, and Chad smirks.

"I saw him drop you off just now," he admits.

"Oh." Jared drops the t-shirt he's been holding in his hands the whole time and wrings his hands together.

"So," Chad says. "That kinda explains why you weren't really into Sandy, I guess."

"Chad," Jared replies, tone pleading. "I'm not… I still like girls. It's just… "

He feels flustered, not sure how to explain the situation to Chad, how to explain what Jensen is to him, what he makes him feel.

Chad, to his surprise, nods. "I get it. He drives a _motorcycle_. That's kinda hot."

Jared frowns, raising his eyebrows. "You think guys with motorcycles are hot?"

"Not all of them, but I have eyes. I've only ever seen this guy from afar, but still. Just… don't let him hurt you," Chad says with a shrug.

"I won't. _He_ won't."

"You sure? 'Cause he's older, right? And he's got this whole leather and bike thing going on and usually guys like that are trouble," Chad says. "And you're, like, the nicest guy, Jared."

Jared laughs, relieved by how easy Chad is taking the whole thing. How his only concern is that Jared isn't being screwed over. "Nah, he's really not like that at all. And you don't have to worry… his intentions are pure," he promises.

Chad gives him a dirty leer. "Oh really?" he asks, and Jared blushes again.

"Well, not _that_ pure."

~~

Jensen is waiting just off campus for Jared, leaning against his motorcycle.

Jared makes his way toward him with a grin on his face, feeling happy and a little giddy because his last final exam of winter quarter is over, and because Jensen is there to collect him. It's a little like a scene from some teen movie: The hot, older guy with a motorcycle coming to get his girlfriend — only in their case, boyfriend — from school. Several students are looking at Jensen, checking him out, some of them aren't even trying to be subtle as they stare at him. Jensen, though, doesn't seem to notice the attention he's getting; his eyes don’t leave Jared's even for a second as Jared walks up him.

Once there, Jared kisses Jensen hello almost shyly. They haven't really talked about their relationship a lot and he doesn't know where Jensen stands on the whole public displays of affection thing yet, nor is he sure how he feels about it. He's fine with dating a guy — it took him long enough after all — but he knows others won't feel the same way and that makes him feel a little weird.

At least Jensen doesn't seem to be bothered by the public kiss, leaning into it for a quick moment before pulling back with a smile. "Hey. How was the exam?" he asks.

Jared shrugs, hitching his backpack, which is hanging off one shoulder, a little higher. "Good. I think I did pretty well."

Jensen smiles, kisses him again on the cheek and sounds proud as he says, "I knew you would."

It makes Jared flush, feeling flattered and embarrassed all at once, and he decides to change the subject. "So, what are we doing now?"

"Well, I thought you deserve a reward for all the hard work. The many, many hours you studied instead of spending time with me," Jensen teases.

Jared grins. "I thought my reward is spending spring break with you?"

"Yeah. But I'm taking you somewhere," Jensen says and winks. He hands Jared his spare helmet he's already retrieved.

"Hop on," he says, putting his own helmet on and straddling the motorcycle. Jared pulls the other strap of his backpack over his shoulder, and puts the helmet on before sliding onto the back behind Jensen.

The drive takes a while as they get further and further away from the city, leaving houses and people behind. Jared doesn't mind, pressed comfortably against Jensen's back, the roar of the engine familiar and almost soothing by now.

They end up on a little path in the middle of nowhere, hidden behind trees and shrubbery.

"Is this where you kill me?" Jared asks once he's pulled the helmet off, sliding off the bike.

Jensen grins, pulling him close by his shirt and brushing their lips together for a handful of small kisses. "Nah," he murmurs. "This is where I teach you how to ride a motorcycle."

"Seriously?" Jared asks excitedly, looking from Jensen to the bike and back. "Are you sure? Isn't it dangerous?"

Jensen wiggles his fingers grinning. "I can use a little magic if necessary," he says. "It's fine."

Jared winds his arms around Jensen's and kisses him, first fast as he strums with excitement and then the kiss slows down, gets deeper and a little dirtier as their tongues slide together. Jared presses himself against Jensen's body, rubs himself against him.

"Jensen?" Jared asks, letting his mouth slide to Jensen's jaw, feeling the stubble under his lips. "Just how remote is this place?"

"Pretty damn remote," Jensen replies, and Jared grins.

"Awesome," he says and reaches for Jensen's belt.

They haven't been able to spend as much time together as Jared would have liked since that first weekend — Jared had to study and Jensen was still busy trying to find Adrianne again — but they've tried to make time for each other where they can and it's mostly been spent in Jensen's bed. A lot of things are still new to Jared, but he's getting the hang of it, and he's quickly figured out that sucking Jensen off is something he loves doing. He likes the way Jensen moans and writhes and loses control, likes the way Jensen feels in his mouth and the way he tastes.

Jared wastes no time sinking down to his knees, amused at himself over what a difference a few weeks can make, and pulls Jensen free, sliding his jeans and underwear down to his thighs. Jensen moans before Jared has even put his mouth on him, and he grins, giving Jensen's cock a few strokes. He sucks on the head, tongue toying over the slit, before he draws Jensen's dick into his mouth.

There's little finesse to Jared's technique, but Jensen doesn't seem to mind. His hand falls to the back of Jared's head, just resting there without controlling Jared's movements, as Jared sucks him off and he grunts Jared's name as he comes.

Later, Jensen returns the favor and then he teaches Jared where the brakes are on the bike, the gas, and everything else one could possibly need to know. He lets Jared ride along the dirt path and Jared is nowhere near good enough to even think about doing this on a real road, but it's one of the most fun afternoons Jared remembers having in a long time.

~~

Jared spends the entire spring break at Jensen's place.

He continues to train with Jeff, Jensen, and Danneel, steadily making progress and soaking up all the knowledge and information he can. He's been learning sigils and runes, small ways in which he can use the magic he possesses, but most of all to control it so there isn't another mishap like the heatwave. Slowly but surely Jared is starting to feel power that's running through his veins, like a low thrum of energy that he just needs to learn to use.

Jensen presents him with a book on his second day of vacation. It's thick and leather bound, golden lines woven over the cover. Jared opens it as Jensen settles down behind him on the couch and pulls Jared back against his chest, nestled in the vee of his legs.

"I picked it up a few weeks ago and brought it back here for you. Just wanted to let you get your finals over and done with first," Jensen explains, kissing the shell of Jared's ear. His breath ghosts over Jared's skin and for a moment, Jared thinks about setting the book aside for later, letting Jensen distract him with something else. In the end his curiosity wins out and he carefully turns the yellowed pages. The book is written in a language Jared doesn't understand, though every now and then a sigil he recognizes catch his eyes as he skims the pages.

"I can't read this," he states unnecessarily.

Jensen chuckles lowly and kisses his neck, stubble brushing against Jared's skin. "You will, eventually," he promises. "Leaf forward a little."

Jared does, not sure what he's looking for, until he turns a page and finds himself looking at a drawing. It shows the meadow — _his_ meadow — from the top of a hill, the forest looming in the background. There are people there, fae, dancing on the meadow, grass around their calves, their faces happy and open. It looks so life-like, so real, that Jared can almost see the fae move, can picture them laughing and talking.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jensen asks.

Jared nods mutely.

"I know you've seen it in your dreams, but wait until you're really there."

"You think I will be?"

"Yeah. One day, I'll take you there," Jensen murmurs, tightening his arms around Jared. "We'll catch Adrianne and I'll take you home with me. I promise."

~~

Jared wakes up alone in Jensen's bed, and the pang of disappointment he feels is soon curbed when he feels they're not alone in the house. Jensen is downstairs in the kitchen, but Jared can feel Jeff and a second person he's unfamiliar with.

Curious, because Jensen hadn't mentioned any plans other than lazing around on Jared's last day of spring break, he rolls out of bed. He pulls on jeans and a t-shirt and goes downstairs.

Nobody seems surprised when he enters the kitchen; Jeff gives him a nod in greeting and Jensen finishes pouring coffee into a big mug that he hands him after stirring in sugar and milk.

"Morning," he murmurs and kisses Jared softly on the lips. Something is off. Jensen isn't smiling, his posture rigid, and Jeff feels tense, too.

The third person is a young woman, sitting at the table with a mug of what Jared can smell is herbal tea with a splash of lemon and honey. If the mood was any different, Jared would rejoice at the fact that his senses can pick all that up; he'd tell Jensen and wait for the proud smile, the kiss and quiet praise it might earn him.

Instead, Jared curls his fingers more tightly around his mug and meets Jensen's eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks.

Jensen sighs. "I'll explain in a second," he says. "Just let me introduce you to Genevieve first. She's a good friend and Danneel's wife."

Jared looks back at her with renewed curiosity, echoing the short polite greeting Genevieve gives him. She's petite, her long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail and her brown eyes full of concern. She's pretty, whereas Danneel is more classically sexy, and Jared can imagine that they must make a striking pair.

Jensen's hand comes to rest on the small of his back, gentle pressure. "Let's sit down," he says. Jared allows himself to be guided the few steps to the table and they sit down across from Genevieve, Jeff at the head of the table.

"Genevieve has been in charge of tracking Adrianne for the past few weeks," Jensen starts to explain. "Adrianne's in town."

"Here," Jared echoes, fear gripping his chest.

"She's been to the campus, and we weren't quite sure how seriously to take her presence there since others have been there, too. We were hoping she was just checking up on old information, making sure her people hadn't missed anything," Genevieve speaks up. "But last night she was just a few streets from here."

"From the house?" Jared asks and turns to look at Jensen. "I thought it was concealed."

"It is. That's why she probably wasn't able to find it, but Adrianne is strong. She's obviously picked up on something," Jensen says grimly. "And that means she's already managed to break some of our spells."

"What are we going to do?" Jared asks. Jensen sighs.

"You do nothing for now," he says gently. "The good thing is we're onto her. I've already ordered more people here and we're going to keep an eye on everything, make sure she's not going to be able to get to you."

"Or you," Jared adds and Jensen gives him a small smile.

"Or me," he concedes.

"What about school?" Jared asks. "My classes start again tomorrow."

"She can't have figured out who you are yet, so it should be fine. And I'll make sure there are some people nearby just in case," Jensen says. "I'll stick close to you, too. We're both heavily cloaked by spells, so she shouldn't be able to find us too easily. So we've just got to find her first."

Jared nods, but the dread he feels doesn't quite go away.

~~

Jared expects something to happen from the moment they leave Jensen's place the next morning. Jensen drives him to his apartment first to get his stuff and then drops him off on campus, promising to be around the whole day.

Jared can barely concentrate in his first two classes, but nothing happens. By noon it starts raining outside, dark clouds gathering on the sky, and it feels ominous but the the day continues to pass uneventfully. Jared has lunch with Chad and Matt, and texts Jensen a few times for updates. In the afternoon, he has his chem class that she shares with Sandy and he sits next to her as always. It's a little awkward, because she doesn't know about Jensen yet and Jared still hasn't figured out how to break the news to her.

Jared feels a little nervous about leaving campus, feels safer there with the crowd of other students, but Jensen is there. They go home, and Jared tries to get some homework done while Jensen fixes dinner. Danneel and Genevieve both drop by, separately, and Jensen has quiet conversations with them in the kitchen that Jared, despite his fae senses, can't make out.

They eat dinner and then Jared reads some texts for class while Jensen does his own thing somewhere in the house. They go to bed early, stripping naked in silence. Under the covers, Jensen pulls him close and kisses him softly.

"It's going to be okay," he murmurs and Jared relaxes a little. Jensen's hands map out his body, offering comfort, as he continues to kiss Jared. Slowly, the outside world fades away, their worries and fears forgotten. Jared lets Jensen roll him onto his stomach, spreads his legs when Jensen coaxes them apart with his hands on Jared's knees.

He splays his hands on the back of Jared's thighs, brushing against the swell of his ass, and presses his fingers into the muscles. Jared lets out a small groan as Jensen starts kneading his flesh, and Jensen starts brushing kisses along the small of Jared's back. He hears Jensen hum something, not sure what, and feels his body relax, his muscles loosen, a calmness washing over him.

Jensen's hands move higher, thumbs sliding between Jared's cheeks and pulling them apart. His lips trail kisses down lower, tongue slipping between his crack, and Jared lets out a strangled moan, hips hitching up.

"Jensen," he says, voice cracking.

"Shh. You'll love this, sweetheart," Jensen says and then leans in. His chin digs into the cleft of Jared's ass, and his tongue licks over his entrance, swirling around the hole.

"Oh my god," Jared groans, torn between pulling away and pressing back into it. Jensen's tongue is sending spikes of pleasure up Jared's spine, his cock growing harder trapped between him and the mattress. Jared heard about this somewhere, knew that guys eat each other out, but he wasn't expecting it to feel the way it does. Having Jensen's tongue there feels dirty in a thrilling yet terrifying way, more intimate than anything else they've done.

Jensen hums, the vibration making Jared moan helplessly, and then the pressure increases as Jensen's tongue breaches his hole.

"Nnng," Jared groans, screwing his eyes shut, his hips undulating. He spreads his legs wider without thinking about what he's doing, wanting more. Jensen hums again, low and drawn out, and Jared knows he's doing it on purpose but he still can't help the sounds that spill from his mouth. He mewls, honest to god _mewls_ , and Jensen fucks his tongue in and out a few times, hot and slippery with spit. His tongue doesn't penetrate Jared very far, doesn't fill him the way Jared is starting to learn he loves, craves, to be filled, but the sensation is intoxicating, exquisite in the way that it's making Jared's blood boil yet isn't enough to give him what he needs.

Jensen continues his ministrations for a while, for what feels like a small eternity, until Jared is so hard it almost hurts, pre-come damp and sticky on his stomach. His hole is wet from more than just spit now, and Jared curses when Jensen presses two fingers in right alongside his tongue. He takes them easily, moaning as they enter him deeper and rocks back on them eagerly.

"Jensen. I'm good," he pants. "I'm good. Just please."

Jensen curls his fingers inside him, knuckles pressed against Jared's prostate, and Jared presses his face into the pillow to muffle his cries. And then Jensen pulls out, moves back, and for a few moments, Jared's head spins from the sudden loss of contact, the lack of stimulation, before Jensen's warm, strong body covers his.

"I love you like this. Love it when you get so desperate you beg me to fuck you," Jensen whispers into his ear, tone dark and filthy.

"Asshole," Jared spits out, but there's no real heat to it, and he moans when Jensen lifts his hips and his cock is pressed between Jared's cheeks, tip nudging against his hole.

Jensen kisses Jared's neck. "Love _you_ ," he murmurs and enters Jared with one, smooth thrust.

"Oh. _Oh_ ," Jared moans. " _Yes_."

Jensen's body weight is pinning him down, holding him in place, and Jared loves the control Jensen has, loves that Jensen is usually the one taking the lead during sex, fucks him and teases him and takes care of him in exactly the way Jared needs. He's not sure how he ever thought he had good sex with other people, how he ever thought he was truly _satisfied_ before this.

Jensen starts rolling his hips, the movement small and slow. It feels like he's barely fucking Jared at all, yet the constant pressure of his cock against Jared's prostate, the way he's stretched around Jensen and filled up so completely, so relentlessly, are enough to make Jared's head spin.

"Jensen," he whimpers, and Jensen grunts in acknowledgment.

"You feel so tight, baby," he murmurs. "So perfect around me. _For_ me. I'm never going to let you go."

"Please," Jared moans, and he isn't sure if it's a response to Jensen's words or a plea for more. He isn't sure about anything anymore other than the feeling of Jensen inside of him, the tightness of his balls, and the fire burning low in his stomach.

"Never going to let anything happen to you," Jensen continues. He rolls his hips, pulls his cock out an inch or two, and drives it back in with a hard, deep thrust. Jared cries out, arches up, and it only takes a few more thrusts from Jensen before Jared spills, his orgasm crashing over him like a wave.

Dark spots dance before his eyes, his muscles feeling like jelly, and his body is trembling with aftershocks of pleasure.

"So good. So tight, sweetheart," Jensen is murmuring into his ear, rutting down into Jared still. He shifts, pulls his arms up under him, the weight of his body lifting off Jared a little, and works his hips faster, harder, fucking into Jared. He comes, his moans mingling with Jared as he feels Jensen's release inside of him, hot and wet.

Eventually, Jensen rolls them onto their sides, moving Jared out of the wet spot and holding him against his chest. "You good?" he whispers, voice rough. Jared manages to nod, makes a noise that he hopes conveys how absolutely amazing he feels. Jensen kisses his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, his cock still half-hard and nestled in the crack of Jared's ass, one of his legs nudged between Jared's. His hand settles over Jared's belly, thumb rubbing over the sensitive skin there, and Jared falls asleep with a low hum of pleasure still coursing through his veins.

~~

None of Jensen's people manage to catch Adrianne that week. Jared knows there are about a dozen fae roaming the city, trying to track her down, but she continues to elude them. They trace her to Jensen's neighborhood a few more times; one night she's just one street over from Jensen's while Jared and Jensen sleep unknowingly in Jensen's bed.

On Friday morning, Jensen suggests that they spend a few nights at Jared's. Jensen's house is more heavily guarded by spells, a little easier to protect as it stands alone on an big property whereas Jared's apartment is in a busy part of town and in a big apartment complex with dozens of other people. But Jensen deems Jared's place safer, because Adrianne has never been traced to any place in Jared's neighborhood. He packs some things and Jared gathers a few of the things he has lying around Jensen's that he might need, and after classes that day they drive back to the apartment.

It's the first time Jensen and Chad really meet, and it's a little awkward.

"So you're the guy that's been, you know," Chad says right after Jared introduces them and waves his hand at Jared. "With Jared."

Jared feels Jensen tense. "I'm in a relationship with him," he says stiffly.

"Aren't you a little old for him?" Chad asks.

"Chad," Jared interrupts, glaring at him. "Cut it out."

"It was just a question," Chad says innocently. "I'm trying to look out for you, man."

"I already told you that's not necessary."

"Well, I'd like to make sure of that myself," Chad replies and lifts his chin. "No offense, but I'm not sure I trust your judgment right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jared asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Jensen shuffles a little closer.

"It means, you're barely even here anymore. You haven't even dated the guy for more than a few weeks and you've basically moved in with him and it's like everything else in your life suddenly ceased to matter," Chad says. "Do you even realize that when we had lunch together this week that was the first time in weeks you've spent more than a few minutes with me or Matt?"

Jared deflates at that, because Chad — goofy, carefree, douchy Chad — is truly worried about him and obviously hurt, and he's not sure what to say, how to explain.

"Sweetheart," Jensen says softly. "I'll drop our bags off in your room and go freshen up. You talk to your friend here, okay?"

Jared nods.

"Sweetheart," Chad mocks with snort as Jensen vanishes into Jared's bedroom with their stuff, and Jared runs a tired hand over his face.

"Chad, please."

"What?"

"I'm sorry," Jared says. "I know I haven't been around much lately. There's some stuff going on that I can't really explain, but Jensen is not a bad guy. Far from it. He's been helping me through some stuff and he's been amazing."

"What kind of stuff?" Chad prods.

"Just… stuff about my life. Who I am," Jared says vaguely, giving Chad a pleading look.

"Is this about you being into dudes suddenly? 'Cause it's the 21st century, Jay, this stuff isn't a big deal anymore."

Jared snorts. "No. I mean, yes, that's part of it. But there's other stuff… about where I came from. My family," he says, because he doesn't want to lie to Chad. It's the most he can reveal, though, and Chad gives him a hurt look.

"And you can't talk to us about that stuff?"

Jared shrugs. "Not yet. It's… really complicated," he says. "But I'm good. _Fine_. And there's probably not a single person in the world that you have to worry about less than Jensen."

"He's right about that," Jensen says, standing in the doorway of Jared's room. "You mean well, Chad, and I can respect that, but I'm not going to hurt Jared or get him into trouble. I'm actually doing my best to keep him _out_ of trouble."

The last part is said with a small grin, and Jared is glad Chad isn't aware of just how true those words are.

"If you hurt him, I'll hunt you down," Chad threatens.

Jensen nods. "If I hurt him, you can punch me in the face and I won't even try to defend myself," he promises. Chad seems mollified by that, giving Jensen a short nod.

"Are you two done now?" Jared asks, exasperated. "And there will be no punching between you of any kind. Ever."

Chad and Jensen both grin and Jared rolls his eyes at them. At least, he thinks, they're not down each other's throats anymore.

~~

Chad goes out to a party that night. He tries to talk Jared into coming too, even invites Jensen along, but Jared feigns a headache and Chad finally leaves without them.

Despite the big TV in the living room, Jared suggests that they watch a movie on his laptop in his bedroom. The weather's been bad for most of the week and it's been raining almost since they arrived at the apartment. The pit-patter of the rain against the window is soothing, and Jared wants nothing more than to curl up on his bed with Jensen, snuggle under the covers while they watch something stupid and mindless.

He changes into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt while they discuss movies. Jensen's been in the human realm now and then, spend the last few years here quite regularly looking for Jared, but he barely knows any movies. Jared chooses _Once Upon a Time in the West_ because it's a classic and everyone needs to have watched it at least once, and also because westerns are as far from fantasy as Jared can think of and he doesn't want to be reminded of his real life anymore.

"I'll go make popcorn and get us drinks," Jared suggests. "Wanna change into something more comfortable, too?"

"Something you can take off more easily later?" Jensen replies and Jared grins. He puts a little sway into his hips as he leaves, or at least tries to and hopes he's not failing miserably.

Jared's halfway across the living room when Chad steps in from the hallway. "Uh. Hey," Jared says. "What are you doing here?"

"Forgot my wallet," Chad says with a shrug, and Jared feels relieved that Chad isn't back because he's changed his mind about the party. The last thing he wants right now is Chad chaperoning his night with Jensen.

"I thought I saw you with it," he says absently. "Have you checked the dresser in the hallway?"

"It's not there," Chad says, taking a few more steps toward him. Jared hadn't realized he's stopped walking, standing in the middle of the living room area. Something feels off.

"Jared, step back," Jensen suddenly says firmly from somewhere behind him. "That's not Chad."

"Aww, and I thought my glam was quite convincing," Chad says, voice higher. _Female_. The air around him shifts, shimmers, and Jared watches with a sick sort of fascination as Chad shifts into a tall, blond woman with a wide grin.

"Jared," Jensen barks, but before Jared can turn, can start to run, the woman throws her arm out and there's a flash of light. It hits Jared in the chest, like a bolt of lighting, flinging him across the room. He crashes into the wall and crumbles down, pain blossoming in his chest, and blinks, his vision fuzzy.

He sees the woman, _Adrianne_ , take a step but then Jensen is there, on her. Jared tries to shake the pain, the dizziness, but his mind feels foggy, his muscles barely cooperating.

Jensen and Adrianne both go at it immediately, neither holding back as they throw punches and kicks, blocking each other's attacks. Jared finally struggles to sit up, his chest hurting and his ears ringing.

"Jensen," he grunts, watching Adrianne deliver a harsh blow to Jensen's ribs, but Jensen straightens and dishes out a series of jabs in return. Jared's chest is tight with panic, the need in him to get up, to help, almost overwhelming, but whatever Adrianne threw at him has him weak, barely able to move.

A ball of light from Jensen, similar to the one Adrianne tossed at him, grazes Adrianne's arm and makes her cry out. She flings one right back at Jensen, but she hasn't regained her balance just yet and it goes completely off target, hitting the wall behind Jared instead. Jared screams, ducks his head as bits of the wall come down on him. He hears Jensen call out his name and meets his eyes for a split second.

"I'm okay," he calls out, voice shaky, and Adrianne uses the distraction to fling another ball of light at Jensen, hitting Jensen in the shoulder. Jensen grunts in pain and stumbles, falling back.

"Jensen!" Jared yells. Adrianne is grinning, hand raised, and Jared feels the panic spike. "No. _No_."

It's a jumble. In his head, Jared is chanting _no no no, not Jensen, anyone but Jensen_ , his heart racing with fear and the need to protect. He feels his fingers tingle, get hot, and he's acting on instinct when he flings his hand out, throwing his body forward with the motion. A ball of light just like Adrianne's and Jensen's shoots forward and it hits Adrianne right in the stomach. She goes down with a startled cry, and Jared, drained, collapses onto his hands and knees.

"Jensen," he gasps. There's a crash, and he sees Genevieve, Danneel, and Jeff run in from the hallway. Then everything goes black.

~~

"Jared."

The voice is deep, familiar, and full of concern. Jared blinks his eyes open and groans at the light hitting them. There's a warm hand cupping his face, thumb stroking his cheek, and Jared leans into the soft touch.

"Jensen," he mumbles, his head feeling foggy.

"Hey there," Jensen says and Jared turns his head toward him. Jensen is kneeling by his side, looking down at him with a small, weak smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I had fae magic tossed at me and I've been flung around the room," Jared mutters and then the panic returns. "Adrianne."

He struggles to sit up, and Jensen helps him with strong hands, pulling Jared against himself to prop him up. Jared's eyes fall on Adrianne, her hands bound by a string of glowing light, Genevieve and Danneel holding one of her arms each. She's panting, glowering at him and Jensen, her pretty face twisted into a snarl.

"Get her out of here. Take her home and make sure she's locked away," Jensen says, voice louder and firm. Danneel and Genevieve give him a nod, leading her out.

"I'll get back to you two as soon as I can," Jeff says, before following them. Jared slumps against Jensen as the door falls shut.

"You're bleeding, sweetheart," Jensen says softly. "We need to get you patched up and into bed."

"Mmmm," Jared mumbles. He feels wetness he hadn't noticed before trickling down from his temple, and Jensen brushes his lips over his forehead.

"Come on," he murmurs. Gently, he helps Jared up, supporting him as he slowly leads Jared into his bedroom. Jared feels exhausted, like he ran a marathon and then some, and sighs gratefully when he can sink down onto the mattress.

"Don't lie down yet and don't fall asleep," Jensen says. "I need to check you out and then clean you up."

"'kay," Jared mumbles and tries his hardest to stay upright as Jensen vanishes. He returns quickly with a first aid kit and a towel, and kneels down in front of Jared. Carefully he strokes Jared's hair out of his face, tugging it behind his ears. Then he places his hands on either side of Jared's head and tilts his head up.

"Look at me for a moment, Jared," he murmurs, and Jared holds his gaze. He's pretty sure Jensen is doing something, _feels_ it, but he's to worn out to question it. Jensen pulls back after a few moments with a small smile.

"Okay. You're fine," he says in a soft voice. "Now, time to patch you up."

He cleans out the wound at Jared's temple, much like Jared had done for him a few weeks earlier, and places a bandaid over it when he's done. Then he helps Jared under the covers, makes sure Jared is comfortable, before he leans down to kiss him briefly.

"Get some rest. Zapping Adrianne like that must have taken a lot of energy out of you."

"And you said magic wouldn't really be that useful in a fight," Jared mumbles with a soft snort.

"I said it can be, sometimes. But it usually takes a lot of training to be able to do something like that."

"So 'm special," Jared mutters tiredly. Jensen laughs softly.

"Yes, you really are."

His eyes half-closed already, Jared smiles. "I have no idea how I did that," he admits. "But she was hurting you."

"Yeah. You saved us both, Jared," Jensen says and kisses him again. "You're amazing."

"You probably could have handled her."

"Maybe, maybe not. You're the one who brought her down, though," Jensen says, cupping Jared's face in both hands. "I love you, Jared."

"Love you, too," Jared replies and yawns.

"Get some sleep," Jensen says with a smile.

"What about you?"

"I'll clean up, make sure the place is back to normal by the time Chad comes back," Jensen says, fingers trailing down Jared's temple. "Then I'll join you."

Jared wants to protest, wants nothing more than for Jensen to get into bed with him and cuddle close, but he's too tired. His eyes slide shut and he's drifting off before Jensen has even left the room.

~~

Jared is lying in Jensen's backyard. The grass is high enough to tickle his face, the sweet smell of flowers in the air. It's a warm spring day, birds chirping and insects buzzing around him.

A book he's been reading for class is lying next to him, open but face-down.

"I thought you were doing homework?" Jensen asks, walking up to him. Jared felt him coming his way before he left the house, so he isn't really surprised.

"I was taking a break," Jared says, yawning lazily. Jensen sits down next to him.

"Want me to take a break with you?"

"Well, you're here now," Jared teases and grins up at Jensen. "Lie down with me."

Jensen does as he's told, getting comfortable on the ground, and Jared turns onto his side, scooting closer.

"Can I ask you something?" he says softly.

"Sure. Anything."

"Now that Adrianne is caught and put away, we're not in danger anymore, right?" Jared asks. They'd gotten word a few days ago that Adrianne had been sentenced by the council, locked away in a fae prison that, according to Jensen, nobody has ever gotten out of. With her gone, some of the fae working for her had come forward, hoping for a milder sentences, and had offered names of other fae that have now been apprehended as well.

"No, we're not," Jensen says and kisses the top of Jared's head. "We're fine now."

"So we could go back," Jared concludes.

"Yes. We could," Jensen says. "Do you want to?"

Jared pulls back a little, looking up at him. "Do _you_ want to?"

Jensen reaches out with one hand strokes his hair. He shrugs. "We don't have to."

"No?"

"I don't care where we live, Jared. As long as we're together."

Jared smiles and leans up, kissing Jensen. "Maybe we can visit, spend some time there first," he suggests. "I want that. I want to see the realm, see where you grew up and what it's like. I just don't think I'm ready to suddenly up and leave completely."

"That's fine," Jensen assures him. "I'm happy here."

He pulls Jared into another kiss, sweet and slow, and Jared hums into it completely. "There's one more thing I wanted to talk to you about," he says.

Jensen nods, tracing his thumb over Jared's lower lip. "Go ahead."

"I want to tell my parents."

Jared has thought about this a lot since that night where Adrianne attacked them. Chad hadn't noticed a thing when he'd come back, acting completely clueless the next morning, and while Jared was glad about that he'd realized that he doesn't want to lie to his family and friends for the rest of his life. He doesn't want to hide things and cover things up. He feels like he owes it to his family especially.

"About us or..."

"About who I am," Jared says.

"Jared. You know that that's risky, right?" Jensen says. "They might not take it well..."

"I know," Jared replies, nodding, because he's thought about that too. His parents love him, but he knows this is something that might drive a wedge between them. But keeping such a huge part of his life a secret is going to tear them apart too, Jared is sure of that. "I've thought about it a lot, Jensen, and it's something I have to do. In a few years, I'll stop aging like humans, so eventually I'll have to tell them anyway or just… never see them again. I can't _do_ that. They're my family, Jensen."

"I get it. And I'm not going to stop you. I just don't want to see you get hurt," Jensen says, cupping Jared's face. "I _hate_ seeing you hurt."

"I know it might end badly, but I want to do it anyway," Jared assures him. "And if it blows up in my face, well, you'll be there to pick up the pieces, right?"

"Of course. I'll come with you; I can wait somewhere close by or I can be right by your side when you tell them. Whatever you need, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Jared murmurs and kisses Jensen, before pulling back and snorting. "If the whole fae thing won't freak them out, the fact that I'm engaged to a guy your age will do. Even if you look a little younger, you're ten years older than I am. That'll be quite a shocker."

He pokes Jensen in the side, trying to keep things light.

"Engaged, huh?" Jensen repeats, lips quirked up.

Jared shrugs. "Kinda. I mean, there wasn't really a proposal or anything. But that's what a betrothal is, right?" he asks, feeling a little sheepish, because they never really talked about the whole thing since they got together. Jensen's never mentioned their betrothal again, or brought up marriage.

"I suppose, yeah, that's what it means," Jensen agrees.

Jared sighs and ducks his head, tracing fingers over the hem of Jensen's t-shirt, just barely brushing at the sliver of skin underneath. "If I hadn't grown up here, would we be married already?" he asks softly.

"Probably," Jensen says. "Most betrothed couples get married around your age."

"Do you want that?"

"We're different, Jay. We haven't had years and years to get to know each other, to build a friendship first," Jensen reminds him. "And you grew up differently. I know most humans are a lot older than you are by the time they get married."

"I'm not human," Jared says.

Jensen gives him a smile. "You know what I mean," he says. Jared nods and shifts, tugging his head under Jensen's chin. He presses a small kiss to the exposed skin of Jensen's collarbone.

"Maybe this summer," he whispers. "I mean, we're already bonded and everything, so it's not like it'll really change anything. It would just make it official, right?"

"Jared, there's no rush." Jensen rests his hand on the back of Jared's head, fingers tangling in his hair and tugging gently. "The summer's only a few months away. We have all the time in the world."

"We could visit the fae realm during my summer break and have the ceremony there," Jared continues, ignoring Jensen's words. "And then maybe, in a few years, we can have another one here, a human one."

He holds his breath, waiting. For a few, long moments Jensen doesn't say anything, his fingers moving through Jared's hair.

"You sure you want that?" he finally asks softly.

Jared nods.

Jensen huffs out a laugh. "Come here," he says and tugs Jared up, so they're face to face. He's smiling, eyes sparkling with happiness, and he kisses Jared softly.

"Okay then. Jared Padalecki," he says, a small grin playing around his lips as he pulls back a few inches. Jared nods, waits, his heart beating loudly in his chest. "Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

There's nothing surprising about it. This is something that had been decided for them a long time ago, but when Jared says yes with a huge grin on his face he still feels like he's just made the biggest and best decision of his life.

**~the end~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to check out the art, too! 
> 
> I'll be posting a few timestamps for this fic over the next couple of months :)
> 
> You can also find me on livejournal ([livejournal](akintay.livejournal.com)) and twitter ([@whispered_story](https://twitter.com/whispered_story)).


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